Helping God [part 1 of 2] ...

There are many stories in the Bible about what happens when we (man that is) decide God needs some help in fulfilling His plans, and we set about to do so.  Just because these stories are captured and printed in the Bible does NOT mean that each episode was designed as an object lesson for us to follow; rather, they are presented to show us what problems we bring about when we do this.  At the outset of any such example story, our intentions are good, our plans are solid, they make “common sense”, and they would appear to have achieved the goals God had in mind.  All of this sounds true.  But what it leaves out, is a dependent faith upon God alone to do what He has promised.  We begin to “steal” some of the responsibility from God and lay the burden upon our own shoulders, hoping to share the accomplishment of fulfilling what indeed was only supposed to be what God alone can really do.  And because we are human, we insert our humanity, our ideas, our practicality into what was supposed to be divine, beyond our abilities to accomplish (indeed beyond the capabilities of any man) – and what results is far from the plans of God, and deep into the messes we are capable of making – all of it done, in the name of God.

Now there are many things that God has asked for our help in doing.  Things like loving each other, forgiving each other, showing mercy and compassion.  The basics.  In doing these things we are not trying to “accomplish” something, rather only trying to see in ourselves, how much we need God to truly accomplish even the basics; and trying to benefit others by reflecting His love.  What I am referring to however is far beyond the basics, but promises that need a divine intervention.  When we try to help God get those done, by doing some of the work ourselves, problems ensue, and messes follow.  Take for consideration an early example committed by the “father of the Jewish faith”, namely Abraham.  Despite him seeming to singularly be seeking the true God in his time (he wasn’t, the priest Melchisidek proves that).  Abraham was promised a son, and from that son, a nation, kings, and the salvation of the earth.  But Abraham was getting old, very old.  His wife along with him.  So Sarah decides to “help” God, by handing Abraham her servant to impregnate and fulfill God’s promise.  Abraham agrees with this plan, and executes it, Ishmael is born.  But Ishmael was NOT the promise, he was the result of our mistake of thinking “we” could do what God alone could do.

Despite our mistake, it was no fault of Ishmael, and God loves Ishmael and blessed him, and his lineage survives to this day (fairly numerous themselves).  But the animosity between Ishmael and Isaac also lasts to this day (and it is unlikely we may ever see peace in the middle east because of it).  Abraham makes yet another mistake in Egypt when he lies to Pharaoh to keep Pharoah from committing murder to steal his wife.  If God had not intervened, Abraham would have lost his wife anyway.  Just because Abraham was known as the father of the Jewish faith, does not make him perfect.  And when he broke trust with God, and tried to help God himself, instead of trusting to the promise of God, that required divine intervention, things went wrong, with lasting effects wrong.  These early stories are not told for us to emulate, they are told for us to learn from and avoid repeating.  But we seem bent on ignoring the lessons of broken trust and getting out of them, what only our selfishness could derive.  In Abraham’s case for example, we justify multiple marriages (as if that is what God had in mind).  We say that because God loved Ishmael and his mother, it must be OK with God that this happened (in effect blessing the idea of multiple marriages).  It was not.  It was human weakness that did this, not the plan of God.  But it is man’s selfishness that derives only this “justification” from what should have been a cautionary story.

Fast forward to the time of Christ.  Matthew in his gospel to his contemporaries focuses hard on identifying the traitor Judas, and describing his crimes in great detail.  From reading his gospel one could easily get a sense that Matthew was not too fond of any betrayer and not very interested in “why” Judas would do this great evil, only that he did.  But motives matter.  Consider for a moment how this may have been a case of “man” trying to help God do what man believed God was supposed to do and had promised to do.  Everyone in these days believed the Messiah would come to throw off Roman oppression and build a kingdom that would never end.  The disciples believed this too, no matter how many times Jesus said otherwise.  Matthew believed it, as did Judas, and Peter.  But Jesus despite clearly being the Messiah, was failing to accomplish what God had promised He would do (according to their interpretation of scripture at the time).  Jesus had too much love in Him.  Now sometimes, only when faced with the emminent threat of death, do we do what needs to be done to survive.  Judas may have been sure that if Jesus were actually faced with death, He would rise up, and become the king and conqueror each of the disciples believed Him to be.  But they were all wrong.  Wrong about their interpretation of timing, and of scripture, and of the real role of the Messiah, which was far greater than their limited interpretations would have allowed.

When faced with death, Jesus would choose to die.  His divinity would lay down its power in order that His sacrifice would save us all.  It is the basis of our salvation, that Jesus would herein take on our punishment for us.  But even though the reward was great, the cost was great as well.  Matthew picks up the story in chapter 26 beginning in verse 36 saying … “Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder. [verse 37] And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. [verse 38] Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.”  Jesus knows what is coming.  But He is not happy happy joy joy, skipping down the merry road – instead He is as sad as He has ever gotten.  It is not so much the death that bothers Him.  It is the absolute dread of being separated from His Father.  He has never known that.  He is not sure He will be able to come back from that.  He may forever be marred by the stain of our sins, and unable to ever again enter in the Father’s love.  That eternal separation would be beyond words of sadness to describe.  And Jesus fears that fate more than any other, for separation from the love of God, is the literal definition of “hell”.

So to help Him in His greatest time of need He takes a few of His disciples further into the garden, and asks for prayer.  Matthew continues in verse 39 saying … “And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”  Nevertheless “Not” as “I will”.  The will of Jesus was to avoid the risk of eternal separation from the Love of His Father.  That love was all He had ever known.  And Jesus did NOT want to risk ever losing it.  Even our salvation did not change the mind of Christ on this matter.  But Jesus did what we all fail to do, when our needs would turn us to a different path – He submitted His own will, to the will of the Father, trusting in God to know better than Himself.  It is here where the story of Abraham is undone.  It is here where the countless other stories in the Bible find a different ending.  Jesus does, what mankind has steadfastly refused to do – to submit Himself, and His will, to the will of the Father.  And it is in this example, how our salvation is truly born.  And in no other.  Jesus does not want to do this thing, but He trusts God to know how to proceed, according to the will of the Father.

And now shift your focus from a Jesus unwilling to proceed if left up to Him, to the heart of His Father instead.  Here Jesus presents the Father with an opportunity to call the whole thing off.  The Father must also risk eternal separation with His only Son for this plan of man’s salvation to work.  And let’s face it, we have given the Father no particular reason to “want” to save us, outside of His own inherent love for us, a mystery none of us truly understand.  If anything, we have been very bad children.  We constantly deny Him.  Spit in His face.  Tell Him He is to blame for every bad thing that ever happens to us, never taking any responsibility ourselves, or putting Satan on trial.  Nope, it is all an “act of God”.  We must be filled with poo and its stench to the top of our skies.  Jesus on the other hand is perfect, and is built of perfect love.  Jesus is His only Son, who has never done a single thing wrong ever.  It is Jesus in whom He is well pleased and very proud.  And it is this perfect Son, that God the Father must risk eternal separation from in order that we poo-poo people can be reconciled.  Those odds are a no-brainer, at least for any of us.  But God the Father must, in spite of the desires of His own Son to perhaps call this whole thing off, must continue on course – not for Jesus – but for us.  What kind of love is that?  That God the Father must push forward, when even His own Son does not have that will to move on.  How hard must this have been on God the Father, and yet He does what must be done, to see us redeemed from our poo.

Jesus needs strength and encouragement, just knowing His disciples (an example of who would be saved) would be praying for Him, might comfort Him.  But Matthew continues in verse 40 saying … “And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? [verse 41] Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”  Instead of mankind actually helping God when He needed it the most, we went to sleep.  Then and now.  Jesus asked for just an hour of prayer from Peter if no one else, but that hour had already passed in sleep.  Notice Jesus asks that we pray to “enter not into temptation”.  It was a temptation to avoid the risk of losing the Love of God the Father forever.  The plan for man’s redemption could not be seen past these moments.  Jesus could call it quits right here and no one would blame Him.  He might have retured to heaven, and allow us to take on our own punishments.  He could have wiped out Satan, his angels, and mankind forever – and declared evil had met its just fate.  This was the temptation Jesus wanted to avoid even thinking about.  But when we might have helped offer Jesus comfort, we preferred to sleep instead.

Matthew continues in verse 42 saying … “He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. [verse 43] And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy.”  Jesus again submits Himself, and His own will to the greater will of His Father.  If it is possible to tempt God the Father, it is being done right here.  And yet no answer of comfort comes from God the Father to His only Son.  His Son must choose to submit His own will in darkness, in solitude, without assurance – the risk is real, and the outcome can only be had if both God the Father and His only Son are willing to risk it.  Mankind sleeps on, unable to comfort when comfort was needed most.  This is now the second time Jesus has asked for a way out, but ONLY if that is the will of His Father.  His Father provides no verbal response, but I am certain tears must be flowing from the throne in heaven, where no creation has ever witnessed the Father weep as He must be doing now.  The universe is witnessing the heart of God the Father break as it has never done, and in spite of His own pain, He pushes forward for the sake of us – we will never be worth the pain we caused on this day, except in the eyes of our God.  The universe sees now what love means, and how far it would go to redeem that which is lost.  It would break the heart of God, yet He would push on.  Satans arguments fall into dust, never to arise again in all of the rest of the universe, except earth.

Matthew continues in verse 44 saying … “And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. [verse 45] Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.”  In the pinnacle of agony, Jesus asks one final time, if there is another way out of this.  And the silence in response gives Him His answer.  It is not the answer He wants.  But it is the will of His Father.  The tears begin to secede as determination must now harden in its stead.  This time, Jesus needs no further comfort from mankind.  Instead He will let them sleep, for He is certain now in what must come, no matter the risk – love is greater than the risk.  His love, and the love of His father.  They will both risk it all for us.

It is interesting that Jesus proscribes prayer to avoid temptation, and we pray so little, so lightly, and so focused on ourselves.  We pray for things.  We pray for health.  We pray (worst of all) for money.  We trust God so little, that what we truly “need” is already in our lives, or coming when and how it should.  What we miss in our prayers for ourselves, is a prayer to avoid even “temptation”.  A prayer to avoid even being presented with the possibility to sin, or the desire to sin; rather to avoid both as ONLY our God can take from us.  I wonder if our God, can still take comfort when we finally do what He asks of us in this regard.  Or if like in that night in the garden, He still finds His entire church fast asleep.  When Jesus asked His faithful for their help in the form of comfort found only in prayer – we failed Him.  Do we fail Him still?

We could have been part of a positive story of helping God, even if only once, but instead we would demonstrate what the human ideas of helping God truly look like …

 

The Price of Devotion ...

The one thing all of us hold on to with everything we have is our life.  We do not look forward to death and try to postpone that eventuality as long as possible.  It is human nature.  It is the nature of life itself.  Life was meant to be lived.  It was meant to be eternal.  But the embrace of sin introduced pain, and eventually death.  Things God did not intend for us; knowledge we were never supposed to know.  Pain and death were supposed to be mysterious concepts we might discuss in perfection, having no idea what they meant, but trying to guess at them.  Instead, humanity has a first-hand knowledge of both pain and death.  And mortality itself drives us to postpone our eventualities as long as possible.  The irony in all of this, is that when pain or death overtake us, we have the nerve to call these tragedies “the will of God” (that would be the definition of fake news).  It is as if we stole those words of blaming God from the mouth of Satan himself.  It is not God to blame for any of this.  We shoulder that blame.  Nor is it His will that any should suffer or die, it is sin that introduces those eventualities; the diseases that come, the wars that are fought, the acts of violence and accident that take lives and limbs.  None of it, the will of God.  All of it, God must stomach like the rest of us, for sin cannot be driven away through edict, or free-will would be swept away with it.

But when we discuss life and death, we should examine the word “life” as much as we discuss death.  Is it “life” when pain still exists?  Or is that really just existence?  Think of the life of someone who has been abused so horrifically they have lost their mental faculties, and now repeat things without reason, act in ways that are self-destructive, and find themselves lost, homeless, and unable to understand what you are saying to them or trying to do for them.  Add the self poisoning of drugs and chemical destruction to the mix.  Can we still call living in this kind of depraved condition, a real life, or is this just some form of existence?  God does not will this.  God has something else in mind, so great, this poor and afflicted person could not comprehend it even for a moment.  We can hardly imagine it.  How could a mind so degraded begin to understand it?  We would look with extreme pity on such a soul.  We would ask ourselves how we could help, and come away only sharing simple human kindness, and praying for intervention against the sin and Satan of this world.

The poor and depraved, and mentally degraded person I describe, is not some random homeless on the street; it is you, and it is me.  We are homeless as this world the way it is, is NOT our home.  We wander through a wasteland cursed by our own sin.  We have no idea what our real home is going to look like, and why the greatest mansion on earth today is a poo-poo hill, next to what the smallest shack in heaven will look like.  But we don’t know that world, so we begin to value the poo we have, while angels hold their noses and wonder how this is possible.  And we have been abused by the nature of our sinful choices.  We develop habits, repeating things over and over that do not make any sense, and work to our own self harm.  Yet we seem powerless to stop this self-destructive behavior.  We go around muttering things like “we have to look out for number one”, and other slogans of self-empowerment, when the pursuit of happiness only leads us further into misery.  We are diseased.  We are afflicted with genetic degradation that makes us incapable of understanding what perfection and eternity really look like.  It is the core of who we are, our characters, that are so engrained in these diseases, that there is only one cure for them – to die – and to be reborn, or re-created by Jesus Christ.

But as our mortality drives us to postpone physical death; our engrained characters are none too happy to die either.  We may understand that what Jesus will re-create in us might be great; but we are comfortable with who we are now, and unsure, or unwilling to let that go.  So what is the true price of devotion to Christ?  Is it willingness to let who we are go, and to be reborn?  Perhaps this is what it means to die to self.  Peter thought he was ready for it.  He wasn’t.  Matthew tells the story of their shame in chapter 26 of his gospel picking up in verse 31 saying … “Then saith Jesus unto them, All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered abroad.”  Yikes.  Each and every one of the disciples, the followers of Christ, the devoted ones – were to be “offended” by Jesus Christ that night.  Shocked by His actions (or rather inaction) in the face of death.  Unable to understand that death must come, in order for rebirth to occur.  Or perhaps like us, unwilling to let our understanding go, in favor of accepting an understanding only He can give us.

But Jesus was not done with His prophesying.  Jesus continues in verse 32 saying … “But after I am risen again, I will go before you into Galilee.”  Death was coming.  There was no way to avoid it.  Because of sin, death became an eventuality, even for Jesus – especially for Jesus – in order that life might come for us.  A return to the meaning of life as God intended it.  Not just existence, but life.  A removal of the fog of our diseased thinking, and an instillation of the clarity of His thinking in its place.  Prior to transformation this is very hard to understand.  But our God does give each of us a glimpse through the fog, enough that we are free enough, to make this choice without the burden of our sin weighing down the outcome.  We are given the freedom of mind to choose His love, or to reject it.  But make no mistake, without the intervention of our God to bring us up to parity to choose; sin would rob us of our free-will and make deranged slaves of us all.  It is the outcome many choose in spite of a moment’s clarity to choose Jesus.  The price of our devotion to Christ may lead to our death.  But the price of rejecting His love only buries us in an existence of pain, while doing nothing to avoid the death that will one day take us all.

And as for the death of “who” we are.  This is a death we should long for.  It is the trading of deranged existence for the restoration of what a real life means.  Your diseased mind cannot comprehend it while it remains diseased.  You need the power of His transformation of who you are, to free your thinking, so that you can begin to see the difference between existence and life, between fake happiness, and deep personal joy, that none can take away.  It is as Jesus foretold, He would die, but would NOT stay in the grave.  He would “go before” them into Galilee, only a first of many encounters we would all have with a risen Lord.  It is important to understand Jesus as our creator, because as our creator, He is able to recreate a real life in us.  Once we allow Him to make that change, the path to real understanding begins.  It may not be instantaneous, but it is certain.  It begins with letting go.  Letting go of the “life” we think we have built.  And accepting that His offer gives us “life” we could not have even imagined before.  It is trading the fake wealth of this world, for the poo it really was, and finding the real treasure of this world, in the hearts of others.

But Peter saw none of this.  He had yet to be transformed.  He had yet to allow it.  So he answered in verse 33 saying … “Peter answered and said unto him, Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended.”  Peter said in effect, even if all these other bums are offended, I won’t be, cause I am special.  Here is where pride took over reason.  Pride a symptom of original sin and capable of making us blind to what is truly important.  Only moments before in the last supper Jesus told them one of them was going to betray Him, and ALL of them, including Peter, was forced to ask, “is it me”.  Now having seemed to escape that prophecy we run head long into opposing the words of Christ, for nothing more than our ego.  While at the same time, essentially saying, I am greater than these other guys, even if “they” fall, I WILL NOT.  And how many times have you gotten up from your sin, begging the Lord for forgiveness you do not deserve, and then make the empty promise that “YOU” will not sin anymore.  A promise history will demonstrate YOU have broken, every single time.

It is not His forgiveness that is broken, it is your ability to keep any promise you make.  Stop it.  Quit making the presumption of arrogance that you are able to choose to sin no more.  Instead, in humility accept that only Jesus can take the desire of sin from you in the first place.  It is the victory of Jesus in you, that can remove your sin, NOT what you do or don’t do.  It is what Jesus does.  You need only to get out of the way, and let yourself slip away, let Him decide “who” you are to be.  Let your sinful desires die in the hands of Christ, and let your new desires be reborn or re-created.  Peter has decided here, in error, that Peter will decide what Peter will do in the future.  And Peter will not be offended no matter what the Savior of the world has just said.  Imagine the arrogance of such a statement, in defiance of what Jesus has said.  Instead of this proclamation of false victory Peter was sure to experience.  He might of said, “Lord forgive me”, and take this thing from me.  But alas, reason is blinded by the disease of pride.

Jesus responds in verse 34 saying … “Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.”  Peter thought his devotion to Christ was beyond question.  It was not.  While Peter clung to the ideas of “who” he was, he allowed sin a foothold in him, that led to this unfortunate series of events.  The real price of absolute devotion to Christ, is to put our lives in His hands, no matter what happens to our lives.  But by far, NOT just our physical lives – rather more importantly, the lives we think we have built – the core of who we are – our characters.  Letting our character die in the hands of Christ, letting all sin go, not just some of it, or part of it, but all of it – even if that means I will not recognize who I am anymore.  That is rather the point.  The point is to not recognize who you are anymore, because the new version of you that Jesus creates will be so enormously better.  And the current you cannot understand that, until it is willing to let go, to die, and to be reborn for real.

But Trump and Peter have more in common than we might have first thought.  Matthew continues with Peter’s response in verse 35 saying … “Peter said unto him, Though I should die with thee, yet will I not deny thee. Likewise also said all the disciples.”  Peter doubled down.  If Trump could only read these passages, how much better might his presidency be.  But alas Peter doubled down, because his pride was now in question, and pride blinds us to reason.  Instead of being humbled by this further pronouncement of Jesus, Peter decides to argue with it again, and this time to raise the stakes.  Peter is now pledging his physical life, long before he has allowed Jesus to remake him fully.  How can you promise to sacrifice your physical life, if you have been unwilling to sacrifice even the life of your character which does not require you to physically die to do it?  You make promises against human nature, despite being aligned with human nature.  Only the transformed heart understands the true nature of “life” and could ever be comfortable with sacrificing it here, to preserve it in the world to come.  The death of “what” we are, is not what our Lord asks, He asks for the death of “who” we are.

And as I imagine what must happen in Trump’s cabinet when he makes a decision, the others follow suit, also proclaiming that they support this very same idea.  The other disciples also pledge upon pain of death, that they too, will not be offended.  None of them broken as yet, but all of them heading towards that end.  For their own pride’s have arisen in them to blind them to humility, and to walk a different road.  What might it have been like if instead of this outrageous mumbling against the Word of the Lord, they might have dropped to the feet of Jesus and begged forgiveness for this thing, begging to have it taken from them as ONLY Jesus could do.  To be wiling to have no pride, to be willing to embrace humility in front of those you love, and those you don’t.  That is the mark of a transformed heart, and the evidence of what true devotion might look like.  But Matthew condemns himself in his own writings, that he too, was unwilling to submit, but rather when it counted the most, stood against our Lord and His counsel.

So many of us modern Christians claim devotion to Christ.  But that devotion is built upon our own ideas of what devotion means.  We are like our disciple forefather before their transformations.  We are devoted when it is convenient.  When we sacrifice for the cause, we see it as sacrifice, not as opportunity to serve.  When asked if we would give our lives for Christ, we say with pride “yes”.  But the life we mean is our physical life, as the life of our character has yet to be put upon His altar.  We have not allowed Jesus to change who we are yet; and despite this, we pledge to give Him what we are.  Some of us have mild experiences with Jesus, perhaps the removal of one sin, or impact in one problem area.  Yet despite the example of how it works, we keep plugging along fighting our sins ourselves, declaring our promises not to do it again.  And finding ourselves on our knees after we fail just one more time.  And then again.  And again.  Until our sins are beyond counting.

It is our promises that need to die.  It is our certainty we should let go.  Instead, we should turn to Jesus and in humility, ask Him to take this thing from us.  And watch what He does, when you get out of the way.  Jesus did not come, so that your personal knowledge of sin, pain, and death, would remain eventualities for you.  He came to change your paradigm.  He came to disrupt who you are.  He came to take from you, the disease that keeps you mired in pathetic existence; and instead offer you life, and life more abundantly.  The price of devotion is no “price” at all, when transformation is what you experience.  You may not see it clearly yet, but you can, you will, you need only go to Jesus in humility and ask, Lord forgive me, take this thing from me, and then sit back, let go, and watch what happens.  Become witness in your own testimony to what Jesus does for you.  Afterwards you will understand, what for now, your mind may not comprehend.  But it can begin here, begin now, and you can finally see what life looks like.

 

One Last Meal ...

What if your next meal was to be your last.  If you knew this to be true, would you make it something spectacular?  All your favorite proteins.  All your favorite breads and veggies.  And hey, go crazy on the butter and seasonings because, well you know, it won’t be your cholesterol that finally gets you.  Most of us cannot get our heads around this idea.  If for some reason we knew our “last” meal was coming, food would likely be the last thing on our minds.  It is a rare soul who gets ravenous at the idea of not eating ever again.  Most of us would want our closest family as close as they could be.  The precious moments we spend with them would likely far outweigh even the most inventive cuisine and menu.  But hey, I did not propose you eat alone.  Bring as many as you can.  Make it a feast.  Include those long-lost relatives you have been reluctant to make time for.  Invite your boss who does not care much for you at work.  Not to impress him/her, but to bury the hatchet and show love even to the hard to love.  You might delegate the work of picking that final meal, but even then, I cannot imagine most of us ordering fast food.

Jesus did.  If there had been a chain of McDonald’s in ancient Israel the fastest food you could make would be the foods they made on Passover night.  It was literal fast food.  It was made quickly because they did not have a lot of time that night in Egypt so long ago.  They needed to eat and be ready to run at a moment’s notice.  And hey, for the folks who were too ashamed to post the lamb’s blood on the door frames – whatever meal they did eat, was the firstborn’s last one, Israelite or no.  The institution, the feast, the remembrance of the Passover came from that night in Egypt nearly ~1200 years before the time of Christ.  It was preserved through the writings of Moses and handed down father to son throughout the life of the Israelite people until the days of Jesus, even to our own.  Jesus knew the timing the events that were to befall Him.  His death would come at the culmination of all the Jewish high holidays (such as the year of Jubilee that only happened once every 50 years where all slaves were freed, all land returned, and all debt was forgiven).  His death would come at Passover, so the Passover dinner was to be His last.  Take out.  Fast food, ordered 1200 years before it would be delivered to Him.  Not much of a celebration in terms of fine dining.  Fine dining, even then, takes time to prepare (perhaps more so back then).  So this last meal was to be simple, and easily prepared.

Part of the tradition of that meal was to eat bitter herbs.  Yeah, nobodies favorite there.  But it was done to remind them of the bitterness of slavery from which the Israelites were freed (by Jesus by the way).  Perhaps it would not hurt our modern day Christians to remember Passover and join our Jewish friends in its keeping.  The bitter herbs we eat would symbolize the exact same thing as they did in Passover – Jesus freeing us from the slavery of our sins.  Pharaoh has nothing on the addiction of sin, and Jesus remains the only power able to beat sin in you.  A few bitter herbs to remind us of that is not a bad thing.  The unleavened bread, or the bread of haste, has meaning in our world as well.  Our Lord is coming back, sooner than we may care to admit, and needing a bread made in haste could remind us of the haste in which He returns.  I know people have been saying that forever.  And for all those souls who have tasted their last meal, that saying remains true (just not how they expected it).  For us, the pattern may be a little different, but the bread of haste is not bad symbolism when you look forward as well.  In any case none of this would be the traditional choice of someone who knows it would be their last meal, at least no one I can think of today.  But it was His pick.

Matthew tells the story in his gospel to his contemporaries in chapter 26 picking up in verse 17 saying … “Now the first day of the feast of unleavened bread the disciples came to Jesus, saying unto him, Where wilt thou that we prepare for thee to eat the passover?”  Already one feast was dovetailing on the next, and since Passover is most important (and perfectly symbolic), the disciples are more concerned about preparing for that one for Jesus.  None of them have let the thought sink into their heads, that this will be His last meal.  They cannot bear the thought of Him being the condemned.  He is perfectly innocent.  And as it should be; the perfect lamb without blemish.  Jesus responds in verse 18 saying … “And he said, Go into the city to such a man, and say unto him, The Master saith, My time is at hand; I will keep the passover at thy house with my disciples. [verse 19] And the disciples did as Jesus had appointed them; and they made ready the passover.”  The first McDonald’s in history perhaps.  But even then, preparations had to be made.

Matthew will not record the entire foot-washing incident.  Perhaps it still stung too badly in his conscience.  Perhaps he just did not think that was the main point we should be focusing on.  Matthew spends his time outing the betrayer.  Is it so with you and me?  Are you and I so obsessed with pointing out the sinners in our church fellowship, we have forgot we owe that same sinner a debt of loving service, done in humility.  It is quite hard to criticize a sinner, and forcefully recommend their disfellowship, while girding a towel around your waist and gently placing their feet in a warm bowl for washing.  Just as Jesus did ~2000 years ago.  The King of Kings thought it not beneath Him to do the lowest work of a servant for each of the disciples at that gathering.  Including Judas, including Matthew, including Peter, even though Peter was not too fond of accepting this humiliation (he got over it).  Perhaps we like Matthew are so focused on identifying the traitors to Jesus, we lose all sight of the service we owe those very same traitors.  Sin is not driven away through accusation.  It is lured away only by the transforming love of Jesus, our loving those same sinners was meant to reflect His love, and give them a reason to seek change in the first place.

We underestimate the power of our love.  Most often because we ration it out so sparingly.  But Jesus was a fountain of love with no end in sight.  What we give away in tiny tiny increments, flowed out of Jesus with the force of Niagara Falls.  Exactly whose servants are we?  Matthew continues the story picking up in verse 20 saying … “Now when the even was come, he sat down with the twelve. [verse 21] And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.”  Matthew pounds on the traitorous theme.  Perhaps he still worries it might have as easily been him.  The truth is that every disciple at that table will betray their relationships with Jesus as the night continues.  Most will run, hide, and stay as far back as their hearing will allow as the horrid events unfold.  No hero’s in this room.  No one ready to even be honest about who Jesus is to them.  When they see Jesus is headed for death, they ALL will doubt if He truly is the Messiah.  So I ask, are any of us free from this traitorous blame?

Jesus has declared one of them will betray Him.  Whatever Jesus says always comes true.  So it is certain.  The weight of it begins to sink in.  Matthew continues in verse 22 saying … “And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?”  Think of this for a moment.  We are talking about a betrayal that has not happened yet.  And each one of them is forced to ask, Lord is it me?  Am I your betrayer?  This should give you an insight into sin that no other scripture has the weight of.  This is an act only one disciple has contemplated and acted upon so far.  Yet ALL of them are unsure if it is them Jesus is talking about.  They are all capable of it.  They are all horrified by the idea, but no sin is beyond them, and they all see that.  If Jesus prophesies it must be true.  They cannot imagine each other as being the one – so that only leaves – me.  Lord is it me?  A heinous sin still in their future, one none of them wants to commit, but all are scared they might.  Lord is it me?

We read these texts as story.  But is the ultimate betrayal of our Lord in your future, and are you humble enough to go to Jesus and ask – Lord is it me?  If you refuse to admit it could be you, it is likely already you.  No one wants to be Judas.  But Judas was Judas.  He was as righteous and as failing as Peter, but most of us would want to be Peter, none want to be Judas.  The difference was not the sin, but where we look to see sin taken from us.  Judas stopped looking at Jesus for the removal of sin.  Peter though completely broken by pride and unforgiveable action still looked to Jesus no matter what.  The weight of the sin was the same.  But where we go to see it removed was wholly different.  Matthew continues in verse 23 with the answer of Jesus saying … “And he answered and said, He that dippeth his hand with me in the dish, the same shall betray me. [verse 24] The Son of man goeth as it is written of him: but woe unto that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! it had been good for that man if he had not been born.”

The heart of Matthew is so far from food or feasting he could have been eating dirt right about then, and not even known it.  It was comforting to have those he loved around him.  These other disciples were his family by choice and brotherhood.  Having them there helped.  But the answer of Christ shook Matthew to the core of who he was.  He that dips his hand with Me in the bowl.  They were ALL dipping their hands in that same bowl of olive oil to season or spread across the unleavened bread.  Olive oil was a precious tasty nectar full of health properties and delicious as a spread.  They all had dipped.  They all had used it on their bread.  Matthew no different than the rest.  But Jesus did not stop there, He continues saying it would have been better for the betrayer NOT to have been born.  Was Jesus talking directly to Matthew? 

Was He talking to me?  I have betrayed Him too.  I have cast aside His victories, choosing to mire in my sin, like a pig does in his own filth.  In my sin I betray Him.  Would it be better for me not to have been born?  That is a pretty dark and heavy thought.  It is meant to be so.  We need to understand where the weight of sin leads, and there is but one destination – this one.  There are no “petty” sins.  There are no light sins, there is only the addictive nature of sin that leads here and no where else.  To the joining of the conspiracy to kill the son of God and take His place running the universe.  It will be the final rallying call of Satan in the final assault against heaven destined to fail, yet all will join it without reservation.  The saved hear another call.  For the saved have been freed from their sins, like the Israelites were made free from Pharaoh so long ago.

Judas now feels like the whole room is looking at him.  He had his hand in the bowl at the same time as Christ when He made that saying.  He feels pressured.  Matthew continues in verse 25 saying … “Then Judas, which betrayed him, answered and said, Master, is it I? He said unto him, Thou hast said.”  Matthew has unveiled Judas.  But his account omits the words of Jesus to Judas to go and do what he must do quickly.  Perhaps Matthew still cannot get his head around the idea that the best of the disciples admired by all, might be the very one who will betray Jesus.  And for Jesus to wish him speed, Matthew just cannot understand.  But with all this focus on betrayal, the focus turns back to the meal.  Passover will remain important, but will be altered for us to look forward, not backward anymore.

Matthew continues in verse 26 saying … “And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. [verse 27] And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; [verse 28] For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.”  For the remission of sins.  This meal is about the removal of the addiction of sin and our slavery to it.  It is only the life of Jesus, the love of Jesus, the sacrifice of Jesus, that empowers Jesus to re-create in you what needs to be re-created.  A new creature.  A new person.  A person devoid of sin.  A person who no longer craves sin, or wanders into it mysteriously.  A person who loves others so passionately they become in harmony with God, with His Laws, and with His heart.  This is the very core, the very power of the Gospel.  The power of Jesus does not end at forgiveness, it only begins there.  The power of Jesus carries through to ending sin completely, in you.

But so that we would have an idea of how special we are to God.  Jesus creates a new tradition even for Himself.  Matthew continues in verse 29 saying … “But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.  [verse 30] And when they had sung an hymn, they went out into the mount of Olives.”  Jesus will deny himself the taste of our grape juice, even the perfected version of it heaven alone can offer, until He drinks it again with us.  You can bet He has likely worked up quite a taste for that now.  And given the symbolism of drinking that drink when we are ALL back together at home in His kingdom – that is going to be some world class grape juice not a one of us can avoid loving.  I am not much of a grape juice fan here.  I have it on occasion, mostly prefer Kadem sparkling version.  But up there, you can just leave me a few pitchers of that stuff, I want a belly full.  They sang a hymn.  And they moved on.  The last meal was now a matter of history …

 

Conspiracies Uncovered ...

It is really hard to watch the news (pick any channel) for any length of time, and not begin to see a conspiracy behind a given event.  We used to call those folks conspiracy theorists (or nuts), now we just call them uncle 😊.  But where once we believed in the “good” of our institutions, or at least in the attempt to do good by our institutions; now we lose faith them in from the barrage of what we see on any news channel at any given point in the day.  Happy stories on the news are hardly even imagined.  If it bleeds, it leads, is still the mantra (perhaps a horrible reflection of who we are).  And this has never been truer since the advent of cable news (thanks Ted).  So to join the ranks of the conspiracy “team” (trying to be polite uncle), all you really need to do, is connect some of the relatively obvious dots.  Getting anyone to admit there actually was a conspiracy; or trying to prove one in the face of constant denials, keeps most of this stuff where it started out – in the backrooms, and dimly lit nocturnal abodes of the less-than-savory. 

And frankly, there has been a lot of practice to get a conspiracy right since the first one launched in heaven itself more than 6,000 years ago.  Imagine a pristine environment where a lie had never been told.  Imagine having the complete trust of anyone you came in contact with, because they did not know even what a lie was.  This was the condition, when Lucifer invented lies and began to dabble to perfect his new craft.  Before you know it, nearly a third of the heavenly angels (his peers), were convinced that God was an ego-maniac who would kill you for disagreeing with Him.  The first conspiracy was to overthrow God and take His place running the universe.  It failed.  But it has taken nearly 4000+ years for the Truth to come out to the rest of the universe, and the clock is still running here on planet earth for humanity.  The universe has made up its mind about the character of God.  We can’t seem to get our act together on that topic.  We are not quite sure Satan is wrong.  Just look at the imagine of God most Christian churches present when they talk about hell fire and eternal torture.

Assaulting God’s character and trying to overthrow Him may have been the first conspiracy against God, but it would not be the last.  Oh sure most of us have heard about the one at the Tower of Babel, when man decided the first time, to take his salvation in his own hands and build a tower so great not even God could flood it again.  Yeah, that one did not do well either.  But then comes one of the most dastardly conspiracies of all time against God.  The one where the religious leadership of His church, decided (under Satanic inspiration, but not much needed there), to kill Jesus Christ – just not on feast day – in case the people might get a little upset.  Yeah, it sounds a little crazy on a lot of levels.  But it was a conspiracy.  And of all things, Jesus knew every detail.  He did not nothing to stop it.  But He did unmask it, and try to warn the ones who would be impacted by it, perhaps to offer a last hope of salvation for them (even if it would be rejected again).

Matthew records this conspiracy for us, in his gospel, picking up in chapter 26 and verse 1 saying … “And it came to pass, when Jesus had finished all these sayings, he said unto his disciples, [verse 2] Ye know that after two days is the feast of the passover, and the Son of man is betrayed to be crucified.”  Catch the key word there that reveals the conspiracy, the word betrayed.  Someone Jesus trusted was going to turn Jesus over to someone else who hated Him and had in mind to kill Him.  Where there is more than one person working towards a nefarious goal, you by definition, have a conspiracy.  But here is the kicker, Jesus knows it is coming.  He even knows when.  Not because He has a spy keeping Him up to date, but because you simply cannot do anything that God is not aware of, even if it is still just an intent in your heart.  That’s scary.  At least, that is scary for those of us who think we actually have “secret” sins.  The only thing secret about them, is that for a while they may still be in dark from our peers here, but eventually the Truth will out.  And for God, even before we take action, our thoughts, and our motives were known.

Matthew is not subtle about it as he continues in verse 3 saying … “Then assembled together the chief priests, and the scribes, and the elders of the people, unto the palace of the high priest, who was called Caiaphas, [verse 4] And consulted that they might take Jesus by subtilty, and kill him. [verse 5] But they said, Not on the feast day, lest there be an uproar among the people.”  This just blows my mind.  It was NOT the Romans who started this conspiracy.  Everyone likes to conveniently blame them because eventually they played a role in it.  But that is just convenient memory.  The truth is that the head of the religion handed down by Jesus Himself to Israel, to Moses, to David, to Solomon, to all the Prophets and Kings that preceded Him – that One true religion – was determined to kill its Author.  Can you imagine the Pope, and the archbishops of the Catholic church, just determined to kill anyone that ever disagreed with them?  Too soon?  Or can you imagine on a more personal basis, what the leaders of your church might do to hang on to power and money even today?  People have always killed to hang on to power or money.  We just seem to forget when they do it to the least of these, they do it to Christ.  However in this case, these Pharisees were just “actually” doing it to Christ.

Matthew wastes no time connecting the dots of the warning of Jesus, with the reality of what followed it.  Even though Jesus had unmasked the conspiracy, that conspiracy formed, and continued to plan and carry out its goals.  Notice too, they were not out to just assassinate Him, instead they wanted to take Him with subtlety (and not on feast day).  Hypocrites to the end.  We must kill our God, but not on one of His special days.  Not much different than folks today I know of, who have no love of the poor, and would be happy to see them go anywhere “else”, even if that means they go away to die in hunger.  As long as they are not here in our church on our “holy” day while we are trying to get our worship on.  We are busy “worshipping”, we have no time for the inconvenient distractions of people who are hungry.  We have on our “good” clothes, and don’t want to get messy.  Get a job.  Go away.  Anywhere else.  Just don’t disturb us while we worship.  And we have the audacity to call what we are doing “worship”.  But it is so easy for us to see the “least of these” and just not see Christ.

The disciples just seem oblivious to what Jesus said.  It’s like they went deaf for a few sentences or something.  There is no record of any reaction to it.  They don’t start buying swords to defend their Lord, (but perhaps Peter did, or at least he got his sword out of storage).  They don’t start looking to find the culprits and reason with them, perhaps diverting them to another course of action.  They don’t start praying for them.  Just nothing.  Life goes on, like if no warning had been given.  How eerily familiar.  But someone heard what Jesus said.  Someone who was listening, like perhaps what all women do, even when men think they don’t.  Matthew continues in verse 6 saying … “Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, [verse 7] There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.”

How incredible.  We would like to think this woman was Mary Magdalene.  It is convenient for men, that all the heroic things that take place in the New Testament scriptures are done by Mary Magdalene, that way there is only “one” exception to rules.  But Matthew (who knew Mary Magdalene) does not name her so.  Ok so if not Mary Magdalene, then perhaps it was Mary or Martha one of the sisters of Lazarus who were also devout followers of Jesus.  But Matthew knew them as well, and did nothing to call either by name here.  Which by process of elimination, means this woman was a devout follower of Jesus, and unnamed to history – that would mean there is more than one exception to the rule, or perhaps better still there was never any rule in the first place where it comes to the roles of men and women as they follow Jesus Christ.  Perhaps the Holy Spirit is in charge of that, or should be.  Nonetheless, this woman was listening to the sad proclamation of Jesus, and she did something about it.  She did all she could.  She likely spent as much as a year’s wages (maybe more).  In short, she gave everything she had.

But no good deed goes unpunished, even within the church it seems, even the new church.  Matthew continues in verse 8 saying … “But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste? [verse 9] For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.”  Given what will follow with Judas in only a few verses further, it is easy to assume this was at his instigation.  Judas was likely the one who carried the money for the poor, so putting a few gold coins in his purse might have appealed to him.  Again convenient memory.  Matthew is careful to use the word “disciples”.  When there is more than one person engaged in a nefarious action there is by definition a conspiracy.  If it were only Judas, everyone would have been all too happy to cast the blame solely on Judas.  Keep in mind this gospel was written well after the facts.  But it was not just Judas.  Peter, Matthew, perhaps John and yes, perhaps Judas too – were ALL too happy to complain about this woman’s good deed.  They were collectively guilty, not singularly so.  And they had the nerve to be angry about it.  Here is the “new” leadership of the church angry with a woman, for giving all she has to Christ.  How eerily familiar. 

Matthew continues in verse 10 saying … “When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me. [verse 11] For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always. [verse 12] For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial. [verse 13] Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her.”  Jesus defends the woman, and her act of love.  He testifies that this act should be remembered as the gospel itself is remembered (and so Matthew records the entire incident, even to his own shame).  Jesus also calls out the hypocrisy of false motives if “anyone” intended to pocket some of the gold coins in a purse they might be carrying for the poor.  The leadership of the new church is rebuked for criticizing the act of love a woman has done for our Lord.  So strange that our modern churches remain so steadfast on a course of criticizing any woman for how she may be gifted to serve her Lord through love.  We still do it, and read these passages as if they are nothing more than history – no lesson for us here.

Matthew again is not too subtle about connecting the dots as he continues in verse 14 saying … “Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priests, [verse 15] And said unto them, What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you? And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver. [verse 16] And from that time he sought opportunity to betray him.”  People have always killed to hang on to money or power.  If Judas must bear the rebuke of Jesus over a few coins this woman wasted, there are other ways of making money, money he will not have to share with the poor either.  And here is where our hearts should break.  Judas cast out demons.  Judas healed the sick.  Judas was a missionary in partnership with one of the other twelve, commissioned by Christ to spread the gospel in earlier days.  That means Judas was a witness, who spoke, who healed, who had the Holy Ghost within him while engaged in these actions.  And yet it is Judas who throws his whole relationship away, and for what?  A few coins?  A perception of an insult or rebuke?

Judas would rather give up his role in church leadership and join a conspiracy to kill his Lord and ask yourself for what?  What would you give up a close relationship with Jesus over?  What conspiracy would you want to join?  Is it a conspiracy for wealth that drives you.  Would you focus more on career to bring you what you think you need (like Judas may have done) – than to sacrifice your job, or your promotion, or your career trajectory - in favor of time with Jesus Christ, even if only revealed through the least of these?  Judas is a cautionary story for us.  Not of betrayal, that’s too easy.  It is of forsaking victory in favor of self-service.  Even when he was directly warned by Jesus that “someone” close to Him would “betray” Him.  The conspiracy was already unmasked.  There was already a light shining in the corners.  Yet Judas ignores the warning and joins it anyway.  As usual this conspiracy against God did not work out well, nor would any other.  They may have appearance of success in some limited fashion.  But in reality, they continue to fail.  Because to fight God, is by definition, to fail.

It is also worth noting that “group think” does not make you right.  There was an entire array of church leaders engaged in the same conspiratorial plot, the same ideas.  They may have had varying motives, but they nearly all wanted Jesus dead.  And the ones who might have disagreed with this stance were certainly quiet about it before time.  Having your entire church leadership of one mind on any given topic is great for unity, until they are united in doing the wrong thing.  To try to determine the right or wrong of a thing in our by-design very-gray-world, ask yourself – what love will this thing show to the least of these, or what love might it take away.  Don’t try to hide insults and hate speech behind the wall of doctrines, claiming you are merely doing God’s work.  That same excuse came right out of Caiaphas’ home that night word-for-word in the matter of trying to kill Jesus to protect the church and “save” the people from His incessant focus on love.  If you find yourself already in the conspiracy, drop out.  Look up.  Go back to Jesus and ask Him what He would do.  Then try to listen and do what He leads you to do.  That might be the distinction to tell if you are in a conspiracy or not – are you following Jesus’ lead; or are you deciding what must be done next.