To admit one is an alcoholic is the first step in finding a solution to the problem. Though most of us are not afflicted with this uncontrollable addiction, we refuse to see our condition with self-interest is as great or greater than the desire in an alcoholic for just one more drink. We too are addicts and slaves, but to self, if not the bottle. And like an alcoholic our perceptions of our condition are colored by the disease we are enslaved to. We do not truly see our condition. We do not truly recognize our peril. We do not rightly foresee the results of the evil we engage in, and the pain that will inevitably come from our actions. To begin to heal, we must begin by recognizing how our condition colors our reality, and ask to have our perceptions corrected. We must admit, we are unable to accomplish this in any way.
Perception is reality. It is so entirely easy to focus on a particular evil in our lives as being “our problem”. We contend with it. Loathe it. We despise ourselves for engaging in it. And in the process of becoming obsessed with its removal, we ignore the many other problems that go unnoticed. We fixate on solving a particular evil that grabs our attention and ignore that perhaps it is not the most dangerous evil we are embracing. For instance, an alcoholic may believe it is his drinking that lays at the root of all the evil in his own life. But a more objective review, might reveal that it is his refusal to accept help in any form, that prevents him from finding a solution to not only his alcoholism, but relief from every other evil in his life as well. While he fixates on trying to stop drinking himself, he openly engages in all manner of other evils and hardly recognizes their impact. In this instance, it is humility that would open the doors to healing, both for this addiction to drinking, and for all the other evils Christ would be able to free him from.
I have sometimes heard the prayer … “show me the evil in my heart,” This is truly a dangerous prayer. Yes we need a reality check from time to time to realize our imperfections and keep our dependence upon Christ to heal us. But a complete picture of our evil might cause us to lose hope that we would ever truly be cured of it all. Our God is merciful to us, in that He only reveals a little at a time, as we are able to process it. The true extent of our evil infection is in fact, terminal. We suffer from a fatal disease that has only one cure – submission to Christ. While a hurting infected person craves a cure, if they lack the humility to submit, a picture of their condition might only inspire complete despair. It takes time for the Savior to humble our will, our minds, and our lives to the point where we are able and willing to accept His healing.
It is said a doctor does not make a very good patient, and a lawyer does not make a very good client. Perhaps it is because having a level of expertise in their respective fields, colors their ideas about how best to treat themselves or represent themselves in court. A more objective analysis, i.e. one that is provided by someone else looking out for them, may often be better that what they had imagined for themselves. Christians are similarly stunted when it comes to self-diagnosis. We see very little in the mirror of our true selves that needs to be adjusted, yet think ourselves expert at diagnosing others. We sometimes take our diagnosis of ourselves or others a step too far, believing we are capable of writing a prescription that will “heal” the patient. We have no such skills. Not for ourselves, or for others. Our best and only hope is call on our Master Physician to heal us all.
The problem with our disease is that warps our thinking and our perceptions by default. Self-focused thinking warps the mind to believe it must be done, it cannot be neglected, and if another suffers for our need, better him than me. These become our core values. They are exhibited in our actions and worse our motives. They drive our bad decisions, and create ripples of pain in those we love. We are blinded by the disease we carry and it is a common disease. To look to another human for an answer, is to ask another person with a varying level of infection, how to avoid infection at all. Humans do not have the answer. Divinity alone is required to recreate what has already been warped within us. To restore His original intent takes His hands alone. We can encourage each other. We can console each other. We can love each other. But we cannot heal each other. We cannot change our own desires, let alone those of another human. This was not supposed to be our role. Our job is to give the hurting, the name of our physician and let Christ do the healing.
But as the disease warps the mind to the negative, healing restores the mind to the freedom and joy that is a part of His intentions for us. Imagine being a freed slave for the first time. True freedom. Not being told when to eat, or limited as to what to eat; not being forced to work or play or do anything. Our addictions force us, or compel us, to do that which we would not. Healing removes those horrible cravings of slavery. We no longer have to fight against them, they are removed. The chains are lifted. We are set free. The shear enormity of the time we have, no longer obsessing with the pain of the past, is in itself a gift from Christ. The liberation of being unbound to the weights that would drag us down, make us feel as if we could run with the wind. We become free to sing, to dance, to express our joy at the freedom He gives us in our souls. Our earthly surroundings become meaningless trappings to a heart that has been freed from the evil that once bound it. It ignites a passion within us, to experience even more freedom, even less pain. Healing is the only kind of good addiction.
Gratitude from a heart that has begun to experience true healing can motivate us as well. Freedom resets our colored perceptions and causes us to see truth more clearly. We begin to want to express our thanks for this gift. It is not enough to merely utter the words “thank you” over and over and over again. We cannot be contained just shouting them. We feel as though we want to do something to show our gratitude. We begin to want to share in the feelings God has from serving us. And as we begin to share ourselves with others we discover what it feels like to love like God loves. When our love affects someone else, when disinterested benevolence finds an object, we begin to rightly perceive what service is all about.
It is all too easy to give to the poor to quell a guilty conscience. It is too easy to perform some standard amount to giving, in order to “prove” we are a good person. Too often, work for others is not really done for their benefit alone; it is done to put check marks on a list of perceptions of holiness; or to attempt to feel better than the next guy in the pew. Motives matter. When our service comes from an unchanged heart, our disease colors our motives to the point where we miss the true value of serving. Service is then a chore, a burden, a responsibility. It drains our human strength, tires us. Instead of finding the freedom from service, and boost to our morale, we limit its blessings with improper motivation. But a changed life, and freed heart, can hardly be made to be still.
To discern the spiritual truth in our Word from the Lord, we must allow Him to create within us a spiritual nature. To be able to properly interpret His Word, our motives for studying it must conform to His leadership and not our own ideas. Our perceptions cannot be trusted. Our ideas are affected by our disease. And thus our results are less than perfect. But with submission to Christ comes healing. And with healing comes discernment. And with discernment comes wisdom. And it becomes a spiraling cycle leading up to the throne room of God our Father.
There is NO cap on how good, good can truly be. There is no limitations to joy. There is no sky-based-limit to how far we can take this healing process. Our limitations are only founded in our unwillingness to let go to Him, what we cherish. Our perceptions, colored by our disease are what limit us today. But they need not. Rather we can relinquish them to Him, and allow the healing to commence and grow and grow till we realize we are no longer limited in any way. This is the process of sanctification. This is the joy and power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There are no caps on happiness any more. There are no chains capable of holding us back , that He is not strong enough to break. We have truly been freed to love. So let us love and explore love like God Himself has done on our behalf.
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