On the Edge of Brokenness ...

How many in a crowd go unnoticed?  Who might you know, that carries the crushing weight of loneliness?  It is our isolation to blame, some we have chosen, some beyond our control.  But when we feel separated, and alone, the weight begins to mount until it is so great it is beyond our words to describe.  TV is only distraction from it.  The internet makes it worse.  Our smart phones do nothing to alleviate it.  People behind electronic screens are the not the same as people who can offer a hug when a you might trade your entire world for a hug.  Tactile contact is so precious infants will die without it, and perhaps this need never goes away.  So it must not surprise you, that your enemy looks to segregate you from all human contact if he can.  And then feed you only poisoned human contact if he must.  To destroy someone, you must begin by isolating them away from any source of love.  Distract them if you can.  Cause them to become someone hard to love if you are able.  Turn our “needs” into expressions of selfishness that make it impossible for others to break through in exactly the right way.  Make us the thorns on the rose bush instead of the flowers.  All a part of an insidious plan to break what was never intended to be broken.  Which begs the question, how do we undo it?

At creation, it was not good for humanity to be alone.  And because of the dangers of Satan, it was not ever good for man to separate and face him alone.  Alone we would be vulnerable, together we could draw some limited strength from each other, perhaps if only, to remind each other to seek the protection of God.  To focus our mind’s eye on the source of love that never runs dry, and shares an intimacy with us on a level so deep we can scarcely fathom it.  Perhaps the greatest reason why “church” should remain important to us, is this one.  In the body collective, we socialize with those who have varying degrees of knowledge of, and experience with, the love of God.  We can through that socialization encourage each other, provide love to each other, and refocus attention back to the source of all love.  We are never too far from Him, who loves us so much.  We are in fact, not alone.  Church provides us a venue to witness this.  Not through what we can gain from the going, but from what we can give in the serving.  It is by reaching out, by serving, that we are reminded of the needs of others – and taught we may be able to reflect His love in tactile form to meet those needs.

But for my conservative friends who believe “church” is the answer, rather than the opportunity to shower love at the church venue, I offer the continuing account of Matthew in his gospel to his contemporaries’ chapter 26.  So many of us lie on the edge of brokenness.  What we need are not just words of love, but deeds and demonstrations of love.  We need to share these with others.  We need to see them shared in our own lives.  Church should be a venue for this.  But if church has become ceremony, then that opportunity goes away.  Worse, if church has become only celebration events, we are distracted to forget the purpose of sharing love altogether.  And worse still, if church has become a mirror to reflect an unforgiving law, largely made up of the interpretations of man, love has left the building entirely.  Jesus found himself alone, in a church of the latter, though this was never his desire or intent.  Jesus created a religion designed to understand the price of forgiveness, to drive our hearts to love and thus the diminishing need for continued forgiveness.  But ceremony had replaced transformation of hearts.  And church had degenerated until the misuse of the Law was now on display for all to see.

This lesson of church evolution in the time of Christ, was meant to help us avoid its reptition in our own day; but that lesson seems to be lost on us.  Judas and Peter, founding members of the next, new church, had found themselves both in isolation by choice.  They needed each other, both for different reasons, but both in need of love and comfort they might have offered each other if they had remained together.  Instead Judas found himself totally alone unable to humble himself to admit his mistakes and seek the comfort of church, the collection of the body.  Peter chose to be alone, hoping to lose the disguise of church, and be only one man in the crowds of the world.  Peter wanted to blend in and be unnoticed.  From this position he could watch, and see what he dreaded to see, but needed to see for the sake of closure if nothing else.  If his faith in the Messiah was misplaced, he needed to know it.  If Jesus was to die like every other would-be Messiah died, he needed to see it.  This way he could look for another.  In his isolation his faith was wounded greatly, and no one was there to offer comfort, or encouragement.  Church we hold at fixed times, in fixed venues, does nothing to solve this problem even today.  We would need to think of church differently and more fluidly today if a solution is to be found that meets needs of the struggling in real time.

Matthew continues with the story, of the results of betrayal – not just of Judas at this point – but of a church that has forgotten its only real purpose; to show the love of God to all.  Matthew now recounts what his church had devolved to in the last days of the ministry of Jesus before He dies.  It begins in verse 57 saying … “And they that had laid hold on Jesus led him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled. [verse 58] But Peter followed him afar off unto the high priest's palace, and went in, and sat with the servants, to see the end.”  Jesus is not just being taken to some random local church on a bender from what the establishment dictates.  He is being taken to the home of the establishment, to the pinnacle of church leadership, where only the top people in the nation will decide his fate.  Popes, archbishops, priests, pastors, elders; pick your title of church leadership in today’s vernacular – it is these people that will decide the fate of our God, if he is to live or die.  But ALL of them are already bent on his death.  They are now only looking for an excuse, ahem, that is to say, a legal justification to see that outcome.  Mercy is unknown to them.  Love a mystery they may only claim to shower on their families, but for “heretics”, it is wholly absent.

Peter goes into the palace of the high priest.  Note that even back in the days of Jesus, the church leadership does not seem to want for a place to live, nor for servants, or food.  Being paid to lead the church of God has transcended being sustained, into being well-to-do, and all of it, in the name of a God who desires mercy more than all else.  Still today, so many church leaders, have made this compromise with themselves never remembering for a moment what the privilege and wealth of Caiaphas might have done to influence his thinking in these proceedings.  But Peter has not gone to his house to bring the good news of Jesus Christ as the Messiah and Savior of us all.  Instead Peter hopes to slip in un-noticed.  Peter does not want to preach there, he wants to participate through witness of what takes place there.  He will do nothing to call attention to himself as he is “undercover” in the world.  How many of us are no different?  We choose isolation from the church, and then go undercover into the world.  We wish no one to know of our Christianity, because we do not want the burden of having to love others, and treat them kindly.  If no one knows we are a Christian, then how we treat others is up to us, with no stain on religion … only a stain on our hearts and souls.  But as we remain undercover from the source of love, we also embrace isolation from it, and further segregate ourselves from any source of comfort.

Matthew continues the story in verse 59 saying … “Now the chief priests, and elders, and all the council, sought false witness against Jesus, to put him to death; [verse 60] But found none: yea, though many false witnesses came, yet found they none. At the last came two false witnesses, [verse 61] And said, This fellow said, I am able to destroy the temple of God, and to build it in three days.”  In Jewish law, it took at least two witnesses to establish the truth of a thing.  So in theory, a person, particularly a preacher, who teaches heresy should easily have had more than two witnesses to their crimes.  But instead of finding actual witnesses.  The church leadership looked for, (and paid) false witnesses, to make stuff up.  This is the prosecution (who also happen to be the judges), paying for purgered testimony to fix the trial.  And STILL it does not work.  Mosty because what one witness lies about, another undoes with his own lies.  And at the end of it all, they have nothing, despite the rather large cash payments lost for another result.  And they are livid.  The church has chosen to kill God, rather than listen, and they are now ready to break the Law to get there to accomplish it.

Any defense attorney could easily have wiped the floor with these witnesses, and consequently with this mock trial.  Any defense attorney could have gotten the whole thing dismissed.  And where was Judas, watching silently from the audience hoping still that Jesus would rise up call down those 12 legions of angels and kill these fools?  And where was Peter, not breaking cover to step forward and offer his services as the defense attorney for Christ.  In fact, none was provided.  Peter could have stepped in, and at least tried to defend Jesus when it counted.  But fear kept Peter silent and alone.  Does fear of rejection still keep you silent and alone?  Does fear of having odds stacked against you, by powerful people, keep you silent when if nothing else you could at least offer words of encouragement to one in need.  It would not have changed the outcome of that trial, but Peter attempting to defend Jesus would have greatly mended the heart of Christ.  But Jesus already knew what Peter was going to do, or rather not do.  Even when Peter had pledged his life in opposition to his real actions, or rather lack of action.  Instead Jesus stood alone without representation.  At last 2 people agreed about the statements of Jesus in regards to the Temple.

Matthew continues the account in verse 62 saying … “And the high priest arose, and said unto him, Answerest thou nothing? what is it which these witness against thee? [verse 63] But Jesus held his peace. And the high priest answered and said unto him, I adjure thee by the living God, that thou tell us whether thou be the Christ, the Son of God.”  Throughout this farse of a church trial, conducted by church leadership, and without any notion of what church is about – Jesus remained silent.  Is it still so today?  When our church has become ceremony, or celebration, or an in-depth analysis of the interpretation of the Law, might Jesus still remain silent?  Or are we so noisy with our opinions at our events, we are simply unable to hear Him.  Perhaps so busy “praising” Him in song, we have mezmorized ourselves into such a hypnotic state we have forgotten that trying to hear Him was even an option.  We tell ourselves these are our ideas of church; yet are mystified when Jesus appears silent throughout our farse.  But He was there, waiting and hoping that just one soul might break with tradition and reach out to one other soul in need, offering to be a reflection of His love.  When that occurs, the voice of Jesus can be heard, in the tears of gratitude of one who was being crushed by loneliness, and now can see relief.  Judas could have given this to Jesus, but remained silent in church.  Peter could have done the same, but chose to remain silent as well.

The High priest is desperate.  He knows the words of Jesus regarding the destruction of the Temple, while not popular, are also not a crime.  So he has only one option left, to get Jesus to publicly state His identity.  For a man to claim to be God is blasphemy.  It still is.  The only time this is untrue, is when God claims to be God.  The High Priest knows Jesus is God, but also knows He can use the law to get him stoned or killed for this offense.  Knowing the truth hardly stops a determined church leadership from doing what it wants to do, even if that is killing God.  The silence has been deafening up to now from Jesus.  So the High Priest demands by the living God to answer his question.  There is no choice now.  When compelled under these terms Satan must answer, demons must answer, angels must answer.  It is a way to sort out who is who.  If the desperation of your loneliness has driven you to seek out souls who have departed from this world for comfort, ask them using these same words who they truly are – but be prepared for an answer you will not enjoy.  Yet it is not God’s intent for you to find comfort from demons in masquerade, but from imperfect living humans who are willing to share His heart and reflect His love.

Jesus is compelled to answer picking up in verse 64 saying … “Jesus saith unto him, Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.”  Jesus is God.  He sits at the right hand of the Father.  And when He returns it will be in power, coming in the clouds of heaven for the entire world to see.  But in this case, Jesus tells the High Priest he will see Him come in this way.  Now we have the benefit of hindsight.  We know that the persecution of Jesus did not end at the cross by the Jewish leadership.  They sought to detroy the faith after Jesus was resurrected and returned to heaven.  They killed believers, chased them, followed them, and attempted to kill any who would not conform.  Jews killing Jews.  So modern Christians interpret this promise as a threat by Jesus.  We believe it will require a “special resurrection” of this High Priest and perhaps those at that trial, in order to see Jesus second coming – even though none of them will be going to heaven with Jesus at that time.  This is certainly one possibility.

But I would offer for consideration one other possibility with even more hope in it.  Murders do go to heaven (forgiven ones that is).  Betrayers of our Lord go to heaven (witness Peter who we all believe fell into this category).  And yes, the only requirement is a change of heart to seek the forgiveness of our Lord to see this happen.  It can even happen in the last moments of a criminal’s life (like the theif Jesus will be meeting and dieing next to in only a little while).  While the life of this High Priest and the Jewish church leadership in this time is horrific, it is not beyond redemption.  It is possible that forgiveness could have been sought without the pages of scripture to document it, perhaps even to know of it.  If that forgiveness was finally sought, then this High Priest would be joining the resurrection of the righteous like any other forgiven murderer and betrayer of our Lord.  In this scenario Caiaphas could be your next-door neighbor in heaven, having both of you witness the second coming of Jesus in power and glory.  For Caiaphas sake, I hope this is what Jesus meant.  What I have come to know, is that it is not my place to judge, or to invent interpretations of scripture to fit what is commonly believed.  Instead it is to long for the soul of Caiaphas as I would long for the soul of my own son; to love this criminal of history as much as I would love my only son.  For that is the love of Jesus for Caiaphas, for me, and for my son.

But at this time in his life Caiaphas was not of a forgiving or merciful spirit, he was running the footsteps of Satan and fully doing Satanic will.  All it takes for any of us to be found this way, is to abandon mercy and love, and pick up the banner of a demand for justice against those in the wrong.  Satan does that every day.  Matthew continues in verse 65 saying … “Then the high priest rent his clothes, saying, He hath spoken blasphemy; what further need have we of witnesses? behold, now ye have heard his blasphemy. [verse 66] What think ye? They answered and said, He is guilty of death.  [verse 67] Then did they spit in his face, and buffeted him; and others smote him with the palms of their hands, [verse 68] Saying, Prophesy unto us, thou Christ, Who is he that smote thee?”  Caiaphas is more alone now than perhaps he will ever be, even if he is in church, and surrounded by those of like belief.  But absent service, absent mercy, and absent love – this church is nothing but the playyard of Satan himself.

But Caiaphas is not the only one there is who is totally alone regardless of the crowd size.  Judas hears this verdict and finally realizes there will be no coming back from this.  Peter hears it outside, but it is during the proceedings that Peter chooses to embrace isolation through denial.  Of him Matthew tells the story picking up in verse 69 saying … “Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee. [verse 70] But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest.”  Peter has been recognized as a companion of Jesus by the damsel.  Having been caught, he could have now gone inside and tried to be the defense attorney of Jesus, or at least stood by Him during this trial.  He does not.  He lies in order to stay isolated (and safe).  Peter walks down the razor’s edge of brokenness, and instead of giving up isolation and running to Jesus; he lies and embraces further solitude.

Matthew continues in verse 71 saying … “And when he was gone out into the porch, another maid saw him, and said unto them that were there, This fellow was also with Jesus of Nazareth. [verse 72] And again he denied with an oath, I do not know the man.”  Peter is recognized again by another maid (no shortage of servants in the home of High Priest, wealth buys many of them).  Peter had changed location in the mansion, but still with no luck.  He is found out again.  There is still time to comfort Jesus is His isolation.  But rather than accept the inevitable and offer service to Someone else in the greatest of need, Peter doubles down on the lie, this time making a solemn oath of his denial.  Vows like this were said to be irrevocable and unbreakable to the point of death.  Essentially the man who said he was willing to die to remain by Jesus only a few hundred feet away, was now pledging to die rather than ever having known Jesus at all.   Both were the promises of men.  Both were lies under pressure.  Both should tell us what our promises are worth today.

Matthew continues in verse 73 saying … “And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech bewrayeth thee. [verse 74] Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew. [verse 75] And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.”  Now to further affirm his isolation, Peter adds swearing to his list of crimes to prove he is not a Christian.  The sons of thunder earned their name from language like this.  When the rooster begins to crow, the words of prophecy of Jesus have been fulfilled.  The rooster affirms the isolation Peter has chosen for himself, cutting himself off from the source of all love. 

And are we any different?  We walk on a path at the edge of brokenness, and when confronted we deny any connection to Jesus, and further deepen our isolation.  For we have developed a great need to be served and abandoned all ideas of service ourselves.  We wish church to be a “place” where we go to fill our needs; not a concept of brotherhood that never turns off, demanding mercy and love from us even for those that are hard to love.  We look to end our isolation in front of screens that put no real demands upon us, and are surprised when this is not enough.  The weight of loneliness is real.  Its ability to crush our spirit is real.  The remedy is real as well.  But is not found in what we discover that meets our needs, but in the discovery when we meet the needs of others. 

In meeting the needs of others, we lose the needs we thought we had for ourselves.  Other priorities combined with the love of God, begin to open up the very words of Jesus in our ears, and make them real as if spoken in audible form.  The selfish heart is not too keen on this answer.  The untransformed heart will find it does not have the strength to grasp it.  But the heart that is willing to submit itself before Jesus to be remade, and re-created, will find it comes naturally.  And loneliness will become a thing of the past, and a burden no more.  Many solutions to loneliness present themselves, but only one is permanent.  Because only one changes who you are, puts you in harmony with God, and teaches you to see the infinite value of God’s treasure – namely others - for what and who they are. 

 

 

The End is Near [part 2]; the irony of persecution ...

To earn hate, you must love.  Ever tried putting a square peg in a round hole?  There is an old children’s toy with multiple shaped holes, that fit matching pegs.  The goal is simple; match the physical piece in the hole on the board designed to fit only that piece.  Toddlers begin playing with this toy and as their brains grasp the concept, they begin trying different pieces in a hole, until they find a match.  Really smart toddlers can visualize which piece might fit in which hole.  And aggressive toddlers look for a hammer designed to solve every quandary by pounding it in.  The world at its core is not too much different than the simple board.  When you are a part of the world, in harmony with the world, the world understands you, and you understand it.  Everyone is just looking out for number one all the time.  But when you encounter Jesus.  Not the stories about Him, or even the scriptures about Him, but Jesus Himself, up close and personal in “your” life – “you” begin to change.  Over time, your shape (who you are, how you think, and how you love) is radically different than anything the world has to offer.  And so the world hates you for it.  While you were one of them, you were just fine with them, and they with you.  But become something else, something they do not understand, and you will earn their hate.

And as it happens the world is full of aggressive toddlers all dragging around sledge hammers they fully intend to use on you to pound you back into the world-shaped-holes that is the point of the game.  But there is another class of player you may not see coming.  As it happens, many churches, and many more church members claim to be Jesus shaped.  They know that, cause they did it themselves.  Honed off a rough edge here and there and now see themselves as the authentic Jesus shaped pieces.  But even a simple view of what the church looks like, and what the world looks like, is often so close you just cannot tell them apart.  And predictably the world has no problem with churches that are shaped just like they are.  And no old-timers (like me), I am not talking about electric instruments in worship music, and using drama on the pulpit.  This is not about style.  This is about substance.  Our hearts look alike.  A worldly husband loves his wife (for a while at least).  So does the church goer.  But they both call it quits at just about the same rate.  The worldly person takes a drink on rare social occasions (to fit in).  So do most church goers.  The “sins” of both are pretty much equal, and equally frequent.  The church-goer claims the promise of forgiveness (the only difference) – but it does not keep them from repeating the same mistakes over and over again.  Aggressive toddlers pass right by this church crowd, because they have no idea they are a church crowd.  They both live the same.

An encounter with Jesus changes all that.  The mind begins to change.  How you think begins to change.  And it is Jesus that re-creates you, not “you” doing anything to accomplish the change.  All you do is submit to Jesus.  The church crowd does not it do it that way, and so they look a lot like the world.  The church crowd does it for themselves.  And so they fail over and over again.  Giving up to Jesus does not makes sense to them.  Anyone who would do that must be evil in some way.  And that aggressive toddler who drags around the sledge hammer, turns out to be the member of your church sitting right beside you in the pew.  When you love, more than you judge, you start not fitting in at church either.  The transformation Jesus effects in you, saving you, from you – is just too much to take for most church goers entirely.  And for those of you who think I am exaggerating, or just church bashing, hang on to your hats, this is going to be a bumpy ride.  When the end is near, all of this was foretold, by Jesus.

Matthew continues his overview of the signs the disciples had asked for in chapter 24 of his gospel to his Hebrew contemporaries.  Picking up in verse 9 it continues saying … “Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.”  This imagery is quite a bit more savage than an aggressive toddler dragging around a sledge hammer.  It is more like living in one of Saddam’s torture prisons, or finding your way into a horrific train to Auschwitz under Hitler.  We are to be hated.  But not just generic hate.  Hated because of Jesus’ name sake.  Tortured and killed over it.  If you don’t live under a threat of torture or death, you may think that is due to God’s blessing.  Perhaps it is.  But if no one seems to hate you, you have to ask yourself, are you really any different than anyone around you.  And if you are all the same, it might be why no one has the time to even think about you, let alone hate you.  After all, how much difference are you really making, the way you live today?  This is not about being different for different’s sake either.  It is about being different because the core of who you are has been remolded and remade by Jesus.  To the point where you live differently, and you think differently, and you love differently.  To earn hate, you have to love like Jesus does.  That is what would make you different enough not to be understood, or accepted, just like He faced.

Jesus continues in verse 10 saying … “And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.”  And so it begins.  The transition from the world to the church, and yet the same hate finds it way of expression even within church walls, and church hearts.  The world does not need to betray or hate its own, it is already living in a way to please self, at the expense of others if needs be.  But the church is supposed to be loving.  When supposed to be, is not reality, offended begins the road to betrayal ending in full blown hatred.  This is us folks.  Don’t look at your neighbor to find the culprit here, look in the mirror.  We judge, often extensively, before we even begin to speak or socialize.  The least little defect or sin discovered in our neighbor is cause to hold ourselves in higher esteem, and shun them for the sinners they are.  This thinking understands judgment, and the hypocrisy of righteous living, but not the transformative love that would make supposed-to-be line up with reality.  Love is stronger than judgment.  For it is love alone that can conquer evil in the first place, and the last place, in us.

Jesus gets even more direct with the church in verse 11 saying … “And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.”  The world is not endangered by false prophets per se, they are only looking to make a buck off of them.  But the church depends on prophets to light the way forward.  When a false prophet arises, the message behind them is inherently selfish, and therefore pleasing to many – thus adopted by many.  A message of loving others unconditionally and passionately looks “hard” to the untransformed heart.  In fact, it looks impossible.  And it is.  At least for a human to do it.  But for Jesus, that is just a no-brainer He does every second of every day for each and all of us.  The “ease” false prophets preach is appealing to hearts lined up with the world.  We all look for ease and comfort.  It is natural.  But for the transformed heart, there is no time for, or interest in ease, there is interest in seeing you next to me in kingdom of heaven.  If that causes me a little discomfort it is worth it.  In fact, if that takes everything I have, it is still worth it.  And so, only post transformation, does the new way of loving begin to impact a new way of thinking, that finds the message of the false prophet dangerous to souls.

Then Jesus boils down to the heart of the matter continuing in verse 12 saying … “And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.”  Ouch!!!  When sin abounds, love waxes cold.  When I try to fix myself, by deciding to be a good person, and then doing my best at it.  Iniquity continues to abound in me, and my love, my real love for others, waxes cold.  This result of failed self-salvation leaves me looking just like my worldly counterparts.  For all my religious “trying” I am no better than them.  This is because we love the same, think the same, and want the same things (most of it bad for us and others).  It is only my submission to Jesus that sparks a fire in me.  And the converse rule is also true.  When passionate love for others burns hotly through you from Jesus, sin is chased away.  Not just from your feet and hands, but from your hearts and desires and motives.  Change the core of who you are through submission to Jesus, and find love abounding and sin on the retreat because of it.  But that is not most of us.  At least not most of us today.  Too many (perhaps me included too often) are content to keep control of our own salvations, and thus watch our love wax cold in real time in our mirrors.  Just as foretold by the Savior we so desperately need.

But not all hope is lost as Jesus continues in verse 13 saying … “But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.”  Jesus did not fail, no matter how often you do.  And Jesus will not fail you, no matter how many times you might keep messing His victory up with your stupid.  Jesus truly is and forever will be the author and finisher of your salvation, your faith, and your re-creation.  For those who can humble themselves, relinquish the illusion of control, and turn over their own salvation to Jesus who does not fail, He will not fail.  The Kingdom of Heaven can begin immediately in the here and now for you, and grow every day until the end of all things.  That is way nearer than you might of thought.  This is not about the afterlife, this is about the now.  To be saved, is more than to be saved from fire, or death.  It is about being saved from the type of person you are now – barely distinguishable from the world.  It is about taking that personage of you dipped in sin, and re-creating it, infusing the passionate love of Jesus in your heart for others.  So much so, that you think differently, love differently, and start to have different priorities.  That is the gospel message.  Not the stories and parables – the real-life witness of Jesus in your heart every day.  Changing you from who you were, to who you will become.  “That” is the gospel.  To find living differently here and now and forever.

The stores in scripture were all written to introduce you to Jesus, who could then make them real, make them come alive in you.  Without the coming alive part in you, the rest is just words.  There is no gospel without your life as a witness of it.  Without “your” testimony of what Jesus has done in you, for you, perhaps in spite of you – the Bible is only a book other people may understand.  The power of the gospel is the power to actually change lives, yours, mine, anyone who hears it.  But better than to hear it, for anyone to see it come alive in you because of how much you truly love others (like only Jesus could).  That is the power of a gospel that must be preached.  Jesus concludes this section in verse 14 saying … “And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.”

The world does not need your “church” or your denomination or even your doctrines.  It needs your love burning so brightly it forces them to turn their eyes to the same Jesus who turned your life around.  The world is in need of example, not speeches about possibilities of what could happen with Jesus, but realities lived every day because of Jesus.  That hate must face our love.  The hate will see that no physical pain, not even death, can cause a transformed heart to relent – because one taste of Jesus is worth everything else you ever had or will have.  There is a reason we will all cast our crowns at His feet and proclaim Him alone worthy.  It is because we are not worthy, nor will we ever be worthy.  But He loves us anyway.  And He will save us anyway.  Each of us from the person we messed up, to the person that only He can envision for us to become.  Once embarked on that journey; all persecution because of it is only ironic.  Because no amount of persecution would ever change in us what only Jesus could create in the first place.

It is this gospel that must be preached in all the world.  Not the concept of Jesus, but the reality of Jesus.  Not the judgment of the followers of Jesus always judging others and the world, but instead the passionate love of the followers of Jesus so steeped in love they begin to look like Him.  What that kind of love can do in the world is something we have yet to see - it could actually save it.  If those who dare to call themselves by His name would submit, and embrace that love, the world will turn over again.  The square peg round hole thing could hardly begin to describe what a difference that will be and perhaps is already becoming.

And Jesus was not done yet on looking forward …

 

Using Cash as Kindling ...

Building a fire has always been a bit of an art.  Before the invention of accelerants like gasoline (highly dangerous), and even when you have matches to get it started; you still need to use something to allow the fire to catch.  Small sticks, or dried out shrubbery, or paper – the stuff commonly referred to as kindling.  The idea is that once enough of the kindling catches fire, it will begin to catch the bigger stuff on fire, and so on, until it is burning the big logs in your fire place.  The goal is not to make a “huge” fire, but a controlled fire.  You want something that will safely burn for hours without too much tending to.  And most of the time, if you do it right, you only need the use of matches, and kindling, once; at the beginning of the fire when you are just trying to get it started – not constantly while you are trying to keep it going.

For those that prefer paper as their kindling, magazines, or old news papers work just fine.  But could you ever imagine using cash money instead?  Besides being illegal to destroy US currency (through any means), it would represent the epitome of waste, to literally burn money, for no other reason than to attempt to get a fire going.  A billionaire may not feel the loss as much, but it is a loss none-the-less.  And for most of us, who are far from being billionaires, we would feel the loss quite keenly.  Ask the person you just happen to be close to any moment in time if they have “enough” money, and the answer is nearly always a resounding “no”.  No matter how much money we have, we could always benefit from more.  If we had more, we could give more to the church (a common refrain).  If we had more, we could get out of the debt we are in (though there is even less evidence to support this; the same financial decisions that got us in debt, are the same ones we make when presented with more opportunity to do so).  And for the slightly more honest among us, more money would allow us to get that “thing” we reason we cannot do without.  Few people would refuse more money.  And only a crazy person would burn it, for the sake of starting a fire.

But there are more gifts we are given, some of them directly from God, that we treat like burning cash in response.  It is easy to say our health falls into this category.  We are given health, then we eat things that over time will ruin it.  We take drugs (prescribed or not) that over time do us harm we cannot predict.  We have to breathe the air we have, and drink the water we have; but our choices to protect these resources are less than our greed very often, so our environment becomes toxic, while our wallets get a little fatter.  We are slow to exercise, and quick to sit around.  And then to top it all off, we still do the crazy things from time-to-time that risk our life and limb.  No, I am not talking about rollercoasters, or theme park rides that make you think you are near death.  I am talking more about the stupid decisions one makes when driving their cars, because they “have” to turn left or right, even though they are three lanes away from their destination.  Going another block or two just seems intolerable.  So the crazy driver decides to make that turn, or run that light, or speed up to 20 mph past the speed limit, for whatever reason, and they in turn risk their own lives, as well as yours and mine.  Though most of us are guilty of this at some point or another in our own driving histories.  Causing angels to work overtime.

There is something else our God has given us besides our health.  A gift beyond salvation, and even our health, and ironically just as precious.  He has given us His church.  To be a part of His body, is meant to be a gift to be treasured.  To serve that church, to uphold that body, is akin to a sacred trust.  Yes it is serving others, but what that services does to you, when you love, like He loves, is life transforming.  It brings you a joy, that words are hardly adequate to enumerate.  To be blessed enough, to be able to participate in the redemption of another, has eternal consequences.  Imagine being the little light (where Jesus shines His love through your demonstration), enough to spark an interest in one who knows not the love of Jesus, but because of what they see in you, determine themselves to know more.  Pointing a person to the transforming powerful love of Jesus that changes lives, is the highest pinnacle of service you can perform.  When that person walks the golden streets of our Lord’s city called Heaven with you, they may realize their journey all started because you were able to demonstrate real love, in the face of their real rebellion of it.  And for an infinite number of years, you will both be able to glorify God, for He led you both because you let love flow through you.

That is worth more than cash.  That is the most precious treasure our God has to offer, the lives of you, and those you love, even of those you dislike and the ones that hate you completely.  It is human treasure our God measures, counts, and gave His life for.  It is human treasure that matters most in His kingdom.  His church then, is the place where the human treasure is cultivated.  His church is the organization where the body chooses to cling together, to uphold each other, to share love where it is easiest.  His church is meant to be the place where those with little knowledge can be brought to learn more.  We are to experience more of His love within His church.  Turning that institution, into a weigh station on the highway to hell, is more than burning cash, it is burning lives; God’s treasures.  And it only takes the lack of love to see it done.  When gossip is juicier than consolation, when back-biting more natural than tolerance, and accusation a normal part of combating sin – we make His house a place of burning treasures instead of polishing them.

This is not new to us.  It is one of the devil’s oldest tricks.  But he has not let up on it, since the days of the first church, until the days of our own.  Tempting us, with feelings of righteousness, that we are “better” than our brothers, or even our leaders, and therefore entitled to call a spade a spade, sin by its right name, and take over as judge, instead of allowing God to keep His role.  In our arrogance we take over the mantle of Pharisee and increase the destruction tenfold; for we have both the Old and New Testaments and still we misuse what scripture we have to judge and destroy the treasures of God, instead of loving them out of their current conditions (without judgment ever falling from our lips or eyes).  And in our destructive course, we burn the cash of heaven itself, and position ourselves for an even greater burning realization – instead of a little light of Jesus shining through us – we have become the stumbling block that keeps people from seeing the love of God.  We claim the name, and have no concept of who He is, or what love means.  And this did not start with us, but could it finally end here?

Jesus longs for us still.  He told the first story to us and our Pharisee forefathers in our previous study.  But in case one story was not enough, He will offer another.  In case we could not discern His clear truth to the leadership of His church (and any of us who know Him, and wish to work in His vineyard, are leaders by default), He will tell another of redemption and possibility.  So Matthew in his gospel in chapter twenty-one picks up again with the words of Jesus Himself in verse 33 saying … “Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, which planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and digged a winepress in it, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country:”  Here Jesus tells us in story form, in parable that is, of how we are where we are.  It is God (the householder) who plants the vineyard (His church) and puts up a protective hedge of love around it so nothing from the world can get in.  He puts a winepress in it, so what grows inside the church, can continue to grow and serve an even greater purpose.  And finally, He puts a watch tower in it, so we can see beyond our walls, and provide a beacon of example for those looking who may have lost their way.  This is how His church begins.  The vineyard (or church) is then let-out, or entrusted with, a husbandman, or set of church leaders.  Then our God focuses His attention far away, perhaps looking to build other such vineyards across the world, like ours.

He continues in verse 34 saying … “And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the husbandmen, that they might receive the fruits of it. [verse 35] And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.”  Here is where we go so horribly wrong.  It is time for the harvest.  The grapes can be pressed into wine, growing in their usefulness, their experience, and perhaps ready to travel to where the owner of this vineyard is now.  So servants of our God are sent back to His vineyard (His church), to gather up the fruit (us, the ones ready from the harvest), to be sent back to our God.  But the husbandmen (or group of church leaders) do not readily receive the servants of our God.  Instead they beat one of them, kill another, and stone another.  This is what happens when power, does not like the truth told to it.  The husbandmen is more interested in keeping absolute control over what happens in the vineyard, than to part with any of the fruit that should have been made ready within it.  Control does not breed growth, it inhibits it.

So to keep control, the servants of God who bring news of the harvest, and of the work beyond the walls we erect, are beaten for their truth.  Killed when they will not shut up.  And finally stoned or killed as heretics to the faith.  The husbandmen proclaim to what they believe is “their” church, that “outside” influences must be kept out of the church to keep it pure.  In so doing they reject the servants of God, and the truth those servants are sent to proclaim, to the church which God established.  This was the history of the Israelites to the prophets sent by God to the Kings and church of older days.  And it is the history of the Catholic church to the reformers sent by God to the leadership of that church.  And it is the present-day message of current church leaders to their flocks to avoid the lies of “other” denominations even today.  Death, and hate, espoused to heretics, even till today.  That response so categorically different than love which would rather die in the effort to redeem and reconcile.

Jesus continues in verse 36 saying … “Again, he sent other servants more than the first: and they did unto them likewise.”  This was not just a single occurrence that happens only once in the life of God’s church.  It happens over and over again.  Because the mission of our God is to redeem, even the misguided, or wicked church leaders that have arisen in His body; He longs to restore them still.  But the response continues to be the same; a message of hate and death to those outside of the click, to those beyond the walls.  Control over what is inside must be maintained by those who believe they have it.  And messages beyond the borders of what we believe must be kept outside so they never permeate the thinking of the members within.  And history repeats itself, again, and again, until blood is more our record, than love could ever be.

Jesus continues in verse 37 saying … “But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son. [verse 38] But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance. [verse 39] And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.”  This is of course a direct reference to Jesus Christ Himself.  God sent His only Son to us.  And we cast Him out of our church, and slew Him, thinking to take all that was His.  And before you cast the blame of this backwards to those Pharisees who accomplished these feats, take a hard look in the mirror of our modern Christian churches today, who would rather legislate their own ideas of morality than to love like He loves.  Still we seek our power, only now we cloak it in political aspirations, and disguise the message as having the church under attack.  In our defensive postures we take up arms.  We “fight” back, not in submissive messages of Christ like love, but in messages of strength bathed in political affirmation, just like our Pharisee forefathers, and our Catholic forefathers after them.  We seek to unite church with state to take on the power of the state, when power is not what we need, or should want. 

It is only His love than can transform our hearts, but that message is beyond the walls of separation we have erected.  We praise doctrine over tolerance (sound familiar), and we tread the same roads the Pharisees paved, and the Catholics walked for nearly 1200 years.  And somehow we think the current course is different?  It is not.  The true Church of Jesus understands that His church belongs only to Him, not to us.  It is for Him to defend.  It is for Him to judge or not judge.  Our work is one thing alone, to love each other as He loves.  In that we would be known as His.  Not in the vastness of our structures, or collections of our art.  Not in our gospels of wealth and ease, but in our gospels of absolute love, even for those who are still trapped in their sins with no desire to get out.  It is in our embrace of sinners, our love of sinners, that may ever cause in them the notion of escaping their sins.  We need not join them in their behaviors to reach them.  But in loving them, while living in the way Jesus teaches us to live, that His love might one day reach them.  Pursuing a course of political power, so that we might instead legislate what we think He wants, is not a pathway to redemption, it is a cement highway of rebellion away from Christ.  It slays Him once again, this time in reputation, name, and purpose, thinking to take what is His.

Jesus continues in verse 40 saying … “When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen? [verse 41] They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.”  Jesus asks what is to be done with His church leadership.  And while Jesus would still redeem us.  We in our human response, in our response that has no thought of redemption, turn our hate upon ourselves, answering we should be destroyed, slain, killed.  And the vineyard handed over to other more worthy husbandmen who would be obedient to their Lord.  The Pharisees are quick to answer this, taking no thought they condemn themselves.  We are no less judgmental even today.  But death is not the way of redemption, it is the result of refusing it, time after time after time.  The mission of Jesus was not to come and kill us all for what we deserved, but instead to redeem us all from what we deserved, and transform us from the slavery-of-self, to the freedom-of-serving-others.

Jesus then recites scripture to these leaders to bring home His point saying in verse 42 … “Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?  [verse 43] Therefore say I unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof. [verse 44] And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.”  The church must be taken away from the Pharisees.  The leadership must be taken away from those who prefer power and control over absolute love.  It was taken from the Catholics and spread throughout Protestantism.  And it will be taken from us once again, if we cannot let go of our desires of power in any form, and instead seek love above all.  The cycle of repetition can end here in the last times, if we but heed the call of His redemption.  We must fall upon this rock, and be broken by it.  It is Ok to be broken.  It is OK to become someone else, to let His salvation remake us from who we are today, into who He intends us to be.  We will not be the same.  And this is OK,  It is more than OK, it is what it is needed

But to reject that process, to cling to pride, to the notions that we are already “good” enough.  Will find the weight of perfection grinding us into power.  There can be no true obedience outside of “being” in harmony with the laws and character of God.  That harmony is not self-made.  It is created only by the power of the Creator.  We cannot and will not achieve it, yet it can be achieved by Jesus within you, re-creating how you think, how you love, and what you decide.  The response of willingness to allow it, is perhaps humiliating, but also perfect in its wisdom and love.  The response to reject it leads to the only place it can inevitably wind up leading.  To death.  The desired death of the Creator, and the actual death of ourselves.  The final escape, and the solution least desired by our God.

Matthew concludes this story by recording the responses picking up in verse 45 saying … “And when the chief priests and Pharisees had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them. [verse 46] But when they sought to lay hands on him, they feared the multitude, because they took him for a prophet.”  The church leaders sought to kill Jesus in response to His Truth.  Are you certain we are not doing the same?  Ask yourself how passionate you are to see Christian politicians in power and Christian judges on the Supreme Court.  To what end?  To have living witnesses of the love of Jesus by example to all the nation and the world.  Or to have legal protections enacted that further the Christian ideals, and protect His church, making your particular ideas of morality become the law of the land; instead of the law of our hearts.  When transformation is our goal, we will be broken, but we will be remade.  When we believe we need the power of the state to protect us, we have already lost the battle.  For the power of the state has never been able to change the hearts of men, or improve their motivations of anything other than fear.

But the efforts of Jesus to redeem us in story were not over yet …

Fanfare that precedes Disappointment ...

Anticipation will rot your brain.  Anticipating something is rarely ever a reflection of the reality of something.  Perhaps this is because our imaginations are greater than our capabilities.  Think back to your wedding day as an example.  How much time goes into making preparations for that day?  The food, the music, the paper invitations, the clothing, the guests, the reception … this list is as long as your arm.  It often takes more than 2 people to get it done.  There is an entire cottage industry of wedding planning, justifiably so, to deal the immensity of having a single spectacular day.  And the expense that goes with having “the” perfect day is sizeable as well.  You can worry yourself sick about your wedding day, right up until it happens, and then in hindsight remember it only as perfect.  Or perhaps ever watch a child anticipate going to Disney World?  It is nearly the same thing reduced into an age-appropriate comparison.  The anticipation of Disney World, or Christmas, can make your kid nearly nuts.  Rare that anything can ever live up to the hype we can assign to it while in anticipation mode.  And vacations; don’t even get me started.

So you would think that kind of thing doesn’t happen in scripture right?  At least not in the time of Christ.  But, … wait for it 😊, … it does happen.  And like most things, the reason why the anticipation does not match the reality, is because what we “believe” about what will or should happen, is mistaken.  Sometimes horribly mistaken.  Other gospel authors address the “triumphal entry” into Jerusalem from a number of different perspectives.  The central theme in all of them, is great excitement about Jesus coming “home” to the capital city of the nation.  There is just a huge feeling in the air itself, that Jesus is finally going home to become King of Israel, and begin the work of pushing the Romans out of Dodge.  Honestly this idea terrified the Pharisees and Sadducees.  If Jesus did this, they lose all leverage in opposing Him.  Jesus would be King of the land, and He had already shown Himself to be king of the church, or the faith.  Arguing with Jesus about anything after that would be pointless, and likely wind you up on the point of an Israelite spear, or under a ton of nearby Israelite stones.  This lack of pushing out the Romans, was “the” only thing the Sanhedrin had to cling to, to verify that Jesus was a false Messiah.  Ironic, how a leadership united by hatred of Rome, still preferred Rome to The Truth.  Are our modern denominations too far from this today?  Are we?

But enough Debbie-downer, this story is about anticipation, and it is going to begin with a bang!  Matthew writes his gospel to his Hebrew contemporaries.  In doing so, Matthew wants to correlate the Old and New Testaments where Jesus is concerned.  Matthew wants to show the fulfillment of prophecy of Isaiah and OT prophets through what Jesus actually did.  And frankly what no other human before or since has ever even come close to.  In addition to the mistaken point of view of what the mission of the Messiah was, there were also a number of other prophecies that were fulfilled exactly as specified.  One need not throw out the Word, because something they believed in, was in error.  No, a great many other things happen exactly as outlined.  And the things we were wrong about, with perhaps a second look, and through the lens of Jesus, can find a better interpretation of, than first imagined.  Matthew is attempting to encourage his contemporaries, not to discard the Old Testament, or discard Christ, but to find the true harmony in both.

He picks up in chapter twenty-one in verse 1 saying … “And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples, [verse 2] Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. [verse 3] And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them.”  Here Jesus begins with direction, with purpose, and with prophecy.  The great multitude is still in tow.  And the direction leads towards Jerusalem.  Nearly everybody is just seething with anticipation.  They all know where this trip will end, and they are all eager to get there.  But Jesus takes a pause.  Near one of His favorite places of prayer (the mount of Olives), Jesus pauses and asks His 2 disciples (in order that there may be 2 witnesses to what will occur), to go and fetch a colt in a particular place.  If they are questioned about it, by the owner, they are to say a particular thing.  And all will be well.  This is straight up prophecy.  And as you might imagine, it happens exactly as He has just specified, including the challenge, and response by the owner.

Matthew continues in verse 4 saying … “All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, [verse 5] Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.”  Keep in mind Jesus did not own an ass, or a colt.  He owned nothing.  And He did not purchase one for this occasion.  For those that would argue (as the Pharisees were quick to point out), that Jesus was “making” the prophecy of Isaiah come true – they have a point.  But to extend that argument, you would have to say that Jesus also “made” an owner of an ass, who happened to have a colt recently; appear at a particular place and time, and then respond in a particular way to these events.  It would have been easier to simply buy the needed animals in advance.  But this is not what took place.  And anticipation continued to rise.  The people were not completely ignorant of the prophecies of Isaiah and the other prophets, and they began to sense their fulfillment.

Matthew continues in verse 6 saying …” And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them, [verse 7] And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon. [verse 8] And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way. [verse 9] And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.”  At this point, the crowd begins to take action as well.  Common people begin to lay down palm frawns, and spread out their over coats, and tunics, across the dirt road.  In effect the worlds’ first protracted red carpet.  The idea was to make the road smooth, and give it a royal feel.  They did this without the slightest hesitation, and with no prompting, and with no concern with whether or not the donkey, or colt, might leave behind a few “treasures” on their particular coat which might require extensive cleaning afterwards.  No one cared about that.  Everyone just wanted in on making this road look more elegant for the King of Kings to travel upon.

Then came the music.  You cannot have a processional without awesome music, well you cannot have a “good” processional without awesome music.  And so began spontaneous praise singing from the entire crowd.  Old men, women, little children, of one accord singing in one voice, in multiple part harmony saying HOSANNA.  “Blessed is He that cometh in the name of the Lord”.  HOSANNA in the Highest.  HOSANNA to the Son of David.  The entire crowd recognizes the lineage of Joseph, and Mary, and Jesus as direct descendants of the house of David himself.  They then sing praises to the Father God in the highest.  And then sing praises to Jesus their soon to be crowned King.  And with these anthems began to shake the entire Roman empire.  But beyond that, with these anthems began to shake the entire Satanic empire, and evil itself.  These musical anthems foretell the end of evil, the end of death itself.  They foretell a time beyond all of this when life is restored to what it should have been all along.  No one coerced the praise and worship, it was natural, spontaneous, and could not be contained.

Matthew omits the naysayers who attempted to stop it along the way.  The Pharisees who came and demanded that Isaiah’s prophecy dare not be fulfilled in this way.  But Jesus instructed these Pharisees, that if the people were made to be silent, the very stones would cry out in praise.  The appointed time was at hand.  The appointed activity was in full swing.  And no matter what Satan wanted, this was happening, which made all of demon empire tremble even more at the echoes of the refrains blasting above them.  I am sure the courts of heaven echoed these anthem refrains with a more elegant, and boisterous noise than what was taking place on earth.  The angels sing their praises for the same reasons we do.  Because they want to.  Because they love it.  And because they mean every word of it.  This day, the music, the self-sacrifice, and the naked anticipation of what was coming was at its zenith.  It would never get any higher than it was now.  The worship service was in full swing.

But something goes sideways.  Matthew continues in verse 10 saying … “And when he was come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, Who is this? [verse 11] And the multitude said, This is Jesus the prophet of Nazareth of Galilee.”  His entry into Jerusalem moves the entire population to take notice.  Excitement bursts from everyone.  And then … we get it wrong.  Like all good modern worship services it only takes one false idea to burst an emotional bubble and leave you with nothing more than a memory of something you no longer understand.  The people ask who this is?  Instead of saying this is the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.  They answer, this is Jesus, the prophet, of Nazareth, of Galilee.  Not God on earth.  Not part of three in One.  Not the savior of our sins, but instead, just Jesus.  A normal guy like you and me, who happens to have some supernatural abilities.  Let’s force Him to be our King over the Romans.  Good idea.  But wait, where is He?  Where did He go?

The good-guy-prophet, just vanished in front of them.  The crowd once again was unable to force Jesus to become the earthly King they wanted Him to be.  The crowd was unable to force a false interpretation of the prophets no matter how much they wanted it.  No matter how high their emotions were.  No matter how strongly they held their belief, it was wrong, and it was not to come to pass, and they could not make it happen.  Huge disappointment.  And just like that, the entire thing fell apart.  And we think this is merely history?  How many of us crave the emotional high that comes from inspiring music, massive production value, lights, instrumentation, talent, comfort.  Our churches are designed for the ease of attending a show once a week, that lasts a few hours.  It is like going to a movie, only with live players in 3D in front of us.  And we get to join the festivities.  In offering calls, in study, in prayer, in song.  Our worship of God, that begins to swell in us an emotional high of this event.  Follow this with a sermon, that too might be inspiring, elevating, thought provoking.  And how could it get any better?  But just wait, next week is coming and we can do it all over again.  A new Sabbath to anticipate coming once again.

But there in is the rub.  Church is not something you attend.  Church is not something you participate in.  Church is a not a place where you go.  The church of Christ, is something that becomes – who you are.  The Kingdom of Heaven is something that “lives” inside of your heart and mind.  How you love.  Who you love.  Why you love.  Questions that have different answers when you are truly transformed by your surrender to Jesus who can re-create you into what He intended you to be.  “That” is church.  Things I hear.  Things I do.  That do not change me, that do not reach the part of me that would cast aside the old, and embrace the new – are nothing more than entertainment.  I could be watching Pureflix, and get as much out of it. 

When I place the concept of His church as something outside of myself, I am left empty.  When I look at the poor, and the needy, and the ones in open sin; and believe the “church”, that is the organization of the church, should do something about that.  I am left empty.  When I make excuse, by making donation, instead of making surrender – I am left empty.  Something has gone sideways in modern Christianity.  We have trained ourselves to treat church as something we are barely a part of.  We refer to church like we refer to any corporate entity.  It could just as easily be called Exxon.  Sure we identify with the church corporate body, but we miss the entirety of the personal power of change – because we refuse to accept the method from where change springs.  We make Jesus, that good-guy God who died for our sins and will one day take us to heaven.  But we refuse to acknowledge Him as our personal Creator, capable of remaking us, if we would only but personally allow Him to do so.  No corporate body can make that happen, but it sure can distract from it. 

Corporate church tells you not to worry about your sins, because there is always forgiveness for them.  In so doing they make grace cheap, of little worth.  Or they take the other extreme where they tell you to do nothing but focus on your sins, and make a “choice” to simply stop sinning, leaving the power of perfection in your hands, and tacitly telling you, it is your fault you continue to sin – and you will never make it to heaven until you stop doing it.  But I say, your sin is an addiction to self-love, that is more powerful than any cocaine habit ever dreamed of being.  You do not control it.  You were not meant to.  You were also not meant to keep living in the pain your sin causes, both you and everyone else.  You were meant to give it to Jesus, and let Him take them from you.  Not just forgive, but reform.  To truly change how you live, because you surrender any notions of control over to Jesus, giving Him full control of how you think, of what you want, of who you love, and of how you love.  That kind of full surrender changes you, and YOU become church.  Not a church of self-worship.  But a church fully surrendered to Christ, who then becomes in harmony with His laws, because His laws of love are etched into your heart.

All that anticipation wasted, because the doctrines of man, cause you to look at Jesus for what He could do for you in this world.  Instead of looking at our God for what He could work within you, and transform you to be.  Trusting in Jesus to save you.  To do what He promised.  If you will but get out of the way.  Only after you do this, will doctrine begin to make sense to you.  Only after you do this, can obedience become something not just possible within you, but natural within you.  That is change.  That is church.  Not something outside, but something deeply personal.  No one else has a say about that.  But once it infects you, you will hardly be able to stop talking about it.  You will not understand how it happens, but you will see with your own eyes, what it does to you.  And how you begin to truly love others, and love yourself less.  This is His love you were meant to reflect.  This is living where anticipation meets reality, instead of being a shallow shadow of what was possible.  Let us not be a repeat of the history of these events, but rather let them guide us to a surrender to God we trust completely to make us His church, how He wants it to be.  His reality will always outshine our anticipation.