By Far, the Stronger Sex ...

Remember those “He man” bubble gum comics back in the day?  For those of you asking what is bubble gum, just try to humor an old man.  Way back in the 1950’s version of America, when men were men, and women were … let’s just be kind and say the object of men’s affection.  Yes, we all know they were considerably more than that, I’ll get there.  The comic strip of the day pictures a 90lb weakling, who goes to the beach and gets sand thrown in his face, by the big muscular strapping “He” man of the day.  Should you identify with the 90lb weakling, all you needed to do, was respond through correspondence (yes, snail mail, it was a thing), and the company who created this awesome advertisement, would send you a gallon of it’s patented muscle growth formula which you could presumably add to your diet.  The results, as also pictured in the comic strip, would be that you would now be bigger than the other guy, get the girl, and live happily ever after.  And yes, all this was packaged with huge chunks of bubble gum with certainly enough sugar to cause an elephant really nasty weight gain.  Just about everything you need to know about the perfect vision of America in the 50’s can be summarized through this ad.  Easy to see, it was wrong about nearly everything.

For starters, my wife married me for my brains.  I had hoped it was for my sense of humor, but she has none, so that makes sense.  If it had been for my body, she got “JIPPED” (another ancient word meaning she suffered a huge disappointment in expectations, it was a thing.)  My body went from bone skinny, eat 3 large pan pizza’s at Pizza Hut and not gain an ounce, literally – to – eat water, gain 20 pounds.  Look at a candy bar, gain 20 more.  You get the idea.  Right now I am proud to say I maintain my weight within a 10 pound range, I am considerably less proud to let you know the baseline of my scale before we start talking about the 10 pounds.  So why does she continue to stay with me after three plus decades and counting?  You could be cynical and say it is for my money.  To which, I would fall on the floor laughing, asking what money?  Yes I have been a millionaire before, and yes, I have been bankrupt before too.  I have had long stints of executive work, and few fairly long stints trying to create my own business that just never got anywhere (turns out I am not a sales man).  So if my wife expected me to be rich, or to be a “He” man, she never came close to getting either.  So much for why women choose men, and even more a mystery, why they stay with them.

Given how much I love my wife today, you could say that is the reason.  You would be right … today.  But for as much as I love her now, I have wounded her far greater in those three decades.  She swallows her pain, forgives me, moves on, finds herself on her knees with Jesus – and is now living with those answered prayers.  Who has the strength to do that?  Not men.  We throw in the towel the minute the going gets rough.  We don’t have the stamina to deal with pain that lasts for years, let alone months, or days.  Sure men can gut it out, man up, and face a lot of mess.  But most of the mess we face, is the mess we make.  To have the iron will to forgive, to choose to forgive, to live without the past clogging your every day of the present – that takes strength.  Inner core strength.  Not the kind that nets you a six-pack abs, but the kind that nets you answers to prayers you pray for as long as the pain lasts.  That is nothing like a “He” man at all.

One part of that ad that was so mistaken, is that the girl does not go home with you because you are bigger than the next guy.  If she does, brace yourself, she will be moving on inevitably, because there is always another guy bigger than you.  She might just as willingly have gone home with you, when you were the 90lb weakling who put his faith in God, and bases his commitments in the concrete of faith, rather than the strength of will that is defeated in the moment.  That kind of strength in commitment, to follow Jesus, not to try to lead Him, is a strength we all need.  But I find women have it.  Men are still looking for it.  Here is a case in point.  Matthew records the aftermath of the death of Christ in his gospel in chapter 27.  There are almost no men mentioned, one or two at most.  Keep in mind Jesus had 12 male followers at the time.  One hung himself, so down to eleven.  One in extreme grief for letting faith go, when challenged by a mere servant girl, who accused him of nothing more than association with Jesus.  Three times he denied that.  He is now consumed by shame, not showing an ounce of strength.  And he was supposed to be the little rock.

Matthew does not record it, but John the beloved was there through all of this.  And Joseph, a member of the Sanhedrin would play a role.  But the ones with cast iron faith, were the women.  These women risked their own lives, and virtue, just by being at this scene facing all of these cruel men who raped women without even a second thought.  It was part of their training, and expected of them when they conquered a people.  There was no respect of women.  Women were objects at best.  They could be bought or sold, raped or forced into marriage, no choices left to them of any kind.  This was their lives at the time.  Yet their faith in Jesus was so strong, their love for Him so unmutable, that they refused to be anywhere else.  Now I ask you, who is the stronger sex?  The one who can defeat you at arm wrestling, or the one who can love you when everything else in your life fails, and fails again.  These women remained in place with Jesus AFTER He has died.  He was dead.  No arguing it.

Matthew picks up in verse 55 saying … “And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him: [verse 56] Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's children.”  Notice Matthews carefully chosen wording, he states, “many” women were there watching from afar.  Many, is a whole lot more than you can say for the men, down to John, possibly Matthew as he is writing this.  How many women does it take to outnumber the 12 minus one?  And if they did outnumber the men, are we certain we give the fairer sex its due for being the stronger sex?  And look at what Matthew casually weaves into his description of these “many” women.  That they ALL ministered unto Jesus, and you can imagine the rest of His followers as well.  These women, the many, were all silent disciples already playing a ministering role, that is a supportive role, to the best of their abilities while all the events of Jesus’ life played out.  They followed Him.  They believed in Him.  They were forgiven and set free by Him.

Mary Magdalene probably was forgiven the most by Jesus.  Jesus removed demons from her seven times.  She was the known prostitute who was prostitute no longer.  Mary the mother of James and John, had once asked Jesus for primary positions for her sons.  Jesus had to defer those positions to the will of His Father.  But she felt comfortable enough with Jesus to make the ask.  And Jesus loved her enough to share the Truth with her in His answer.  Jesus’ mother was also there.  Likely His sisters as well.  Then there was Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus who of the women there, likely had the most hope in what would take place.  For they had seen the words I am the Resurrection and the Life, play out in the raising of their dead brother Lazarus.  Probably also in that crowd was the woman at the well in Samaria, who became the first notable evangelist, converting nearly her entire region by pointing them to Jesus.  By contrast was the woman who had hemophilia and merely touched the hem of His garment.  No one had ever tried that kind of crazy thing before but it worked.  And from then on, everyone lined the roads, doing it as well, and finding the same positive results.  These were women of cast iron faith.

They were there because of the Day of Atonement.  They had traveled to Jerusalem in part for tradition and in part to see Jesus be crowned king as everyone was sure would happen.  But alas, a twist of events brought on by the betrayal of Judas, and the hatred of the men who were religious leaders, and now they were there to witness the object of their divine love up on a Roman cross.  And now dead.  But these women had what men do not.  They were not alone.  They drew strength and encouragement from each other, even though their hearts were breaking.  Tears flowed, yet strength remained.  Jesus was dead, yet still they persisted.  Men did not.  Men were logical, once death sets in, the story was over.  But women were strong enough to peer through the tears and wonder with hope “if” the story was truly over.  Mary and Martha had seen it keep going.  It is certain they shared that hope with the others.

But to avoid being eaten by dogs, which is what happens to bodies after their crucifixion, logistics must now be made most important.  Matthew continues in verse 57 saying … “When the even was come, there came a rich man of Arimathaea, named Joseph, who also himself was Jesus' disciple: [verse 58] He went to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. Then Pilate commanded the body to be delivered.”  Christ would not be eaten by dogs in a mass grave.  He would be buried because of the humility and courage of Joseph, who would make no profit from this.  Joseph was a member of the Sanhedrin.  His money would buy him a certain degree of favor with greedy men.  But to align himself with Jesus would make him an immediate outcast with them.  Further, Joseph’s act of kindness, would continue to fulfill prophecy, so Joseph would be even less popular with religious leadership now.  And Pilate, who could not wash the guilt from his mind and soul, consented knowing it would anger the priests.  Pilate being blissfully unaware he too was helping to fulfill prophecy about the burial of Jesus.

Matthew continues in verse 59 saying … “And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, [verse 60] And laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock: and he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed. [verse 61] And there was Mary Magdalene, and the other Mary, sitting over against the sepulchre.”  Matthew talks about Joseph wrapping the body of Jesus in a clean linen cloth.  But to do that, the body would have to be wiped away of all the blood first.  The crown of thorns would have to be removed.  The cross taken down, and spikes removed from His hands and feet.  Any ropes untied.  And hardest of all, His back which had so many chunks of meat removed from it by the cat-of-nine-tails whip with the glass shards tied in the ends would have to be carefully wrapped to try to keep what was left of Jesus in place.  Joseph was one man.  He likely had servants to help.  But the other hands that helped in this horrific process were the hands of the “many” women who were there with tears flowing.

Cast iron faith that can prepare the body of Jesus for burial.  They were burying their Messiah.  There would be NO Roman overthrow, as all this blood was witness to.  Their own persecution was to continue throughout the days of their lives.  Lost hope.  Lost dreams.  Yet still, love demanded they be here, and do what must be done, to give honor and love to their Lord.  If you ask me, it is these women who have earned the place on the right and left hands of Jesus in His Kingdom when it comes.  They did the hardest work anyone will ever have to do.  They did it with broken hearts.  And they did it with love, because of love, because love can make cast iron faith in a woman, if she lets it.  The body is then carried to a new tomb that has never been used before.  Another detail of the prophecy.  Jesus is carefully laid inside, and then a large stone is rolled in front as the door.  The women are there the entire time.  They have seen and helped with every detail.

By contrast, witness the groveling of men at the time.  Matthew continues in verse 62 saying … “Now the next day, that followed the day of the preparation, the chief priests and Pharisees came together unto Pilate, [verse 63] Saying, Sir, we remember that that deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again. [verse 64] Command therefore that the sepulchre be made sure until the third day, lest his disciples come by night, and steal him away, and say unto the people, He is risen from the dead: so the last error shall be worse than the first. [verse 65] Pilate said unto them, Ye have a watch: go your way, make it as sure as ye can. [verse 66] So they went, and made the sepulchre sure, sealing the stone, and setting a watch.”  First, Friday the day is over, and Sabbath is here, it will continue until sundown.  Priests had made a ton of rules about what can and cannot be done on Sabbath.  They include rules about how many steps can be taken, as well as million other harsh and stupid regulations none of them based in any kind of love for God, or man.

Yet against their own statutes the Priests go to Pilate and beg for a Roman seal, and a Roman guard to watch over the dead body of Jesus.  Only now do they fear the disciples might regain enough courage to steal the dead body of Jesus and try to make up a lie about it.  So Pilate grants them a Centurion, likely the same one who was there at the moment of Christ’s death.  But there is more here than may at first meet the eye.  Centurion is not just a rank, it is an indicator of how many men are under his command.  Chances are good there were a hundred men assigned to this grave guarding duty.  After all, it would be a good break from all the other ugly things Roman soldiers are assigned to do.  There would be only as many as 12 men in opposition, unarmed men, who generally were fishermen and tax collectors, so the odds would be highly in the Romans favor.  Romans would not just send 5 or 6 guys to face 12.  They would send 100 to overwhelm 12 should a skirmish take place.  And with that many, it would be a cake walk.  You could effectively relax for a Saturday and Sunday (the weekend as we know it).  Not likely to be fighting.  Not likely to be facing anything unusual.  Even if Jesus was the Son of God, He was dead now.

But who was there intermingled with these wicked soldiers?  Mary Magdelene and the other Mary, sitting against the grave.  Mary Magdelene was likely not afraid of men like this.  She had seen and serviced her fair share in the past.  She may even know some of these men personally.  Romans did have coin after all.  But neither she nor the other Mary who had always minded her virtue were inclined to forfeit any of it now.  They remained heart broken.  But somehow unable to leave the scene of the continuing crime.  Women with cast iron faith, who even now, had the courage and strength to be in a place long abandoned by male disciples.  Those male disciples would not risk getting anywhere near a Roman soldier as they were paranoid and sure they would be arrested and killed just like their Master, maybe even worse.  Yet the women who faced the same risk, made entirely different choices.  Choices steeped in love.  Love that built a cast iron faith, that could not be shaken by Roman cruelty, or Roman steel.

Who then, by far, is the stronger sex?  And if we can recognize this, it does not diminish our masculinity.  It informs and educates it.  We can cloak our masculinity in the same love, that builds the same faith it does in women.  Our strength can be measured in our commitments made in the concrete of faith, rather than the quicksand of our will.  Our love can be measured as the only yardstick worthy to be used, never again to use the number of pounds we benchpress in a gym.  Our bodies to be given in service of others, not the vanity of self.  And what will emerge is not a confusion of the sexes, or the roles of our sex, but the unity in which both of us come to the cross, do what must be done, in spite of broken hearts and lost dreams.  Yet still in the back of our minds, a nagging hope, of knowing what the words “I am the Resurrection and the Life” mean.

 

A PhD in Cruelty ...

How hard is it for you to be “nice”?  Does your significant other (or perhaps a close family member) seem to enjoy sharing “painful” truth about you, to you?  Or is it you, who cloaks pain with truth, when you speak to others.  Often folks who do this, are not even aware they do it.  But the ones on the receiving end are acutely aware.  Everyone wants the truth.  And nobody wants pain.  So how you reconcile those two things may be a matter of sensitivity if you care about how someone else feels.  Blatant truth, that is, truth told without the slightest regard for how it will be received, or how much pain it can cause – is the mark of a student aiming for their PhD in Cruelty, whether they know it or not.  And for those who enjoy cruelty; to see tears well up, to see dreams dashed with reality, to break the spirit of the young.  For these folks, cruelty is something beyond the boundaries of education, it is a high art form.  But for Christians, the only blanket for truth is love.  You can share painful truth with me, when I know it breaks your heart harder than it breaks mine.  When your tears flow faster than my own, then whatever pain there is in my truth is couched in a love that cannot be denied.  At that point, painful truth, is constructive at best, and commiserated at least.

Cruelty however, is something that can be taught.  Victims become proficient perpetrators.  And long-time exposure to inflicting cruelty causes dullness in recognizing it, and lack of motivation to treat it.  It is a tool of Satan to stamp out the love-response-mechanism in us all.  And what you do for a living can greatly impact how much cruelty you learn to tolerate, and perhaps inflict.  For example, its harder for a cop.  Imagine how much horror and cruelty a policeman is exposed to over the years of their career.  Their job is to jump right in to man-hurting-man and try to stop it.  They see us at our worst.  Either inflicting great pain on others, or falling victim to the pain another inflicts.  Most of us don’t seek out cops to form friendships, have dinner parties, and generally be a support system for them.  Instead we sit behind our televisions or computer screens quick to judge the failures of a few; attributing those failures to everyone; and all the while decry racisms of all “other” forms as being rampant in those who chose to protect and serve us.  None-the-less they continue to serve.  Everyday a battle to remain human, while exposed to the worst of humanity seen in crisis nearly all the time.  But at least cops understand the hope to make society better.

Try being a front-line soldier for a living.  That career requires you to kill others.  Kill, or be killed.  It is hard to kill others without finding a reason to dislike them, perhaps to hate them.  So we try to walk the tight rope of teaching our soldiers to protect each other, while hating the enemy, enough to kill the enemy, but not enough to become barbarians in the process.  Let’s face it, America rarely enters a war with another nation, unless the deeds of that nation rank in our barbarism scale.  Then we fight back.  But history has a long habit of pointing out that war makes barbarians of us all, blurring the lines between the good side and the bad side if all we do is examine the worst of what each of us has done.  My grandfather was a full-bird colonel coming out of World War Two, I believe he served in the army aircorp at that time.  He is buried in Arlington National cemetery with his wife now.  He saw combat in the Pacific.  Survived an enemy bomb that killed every other officer in the tent, was promoted, and continued to fight.  My grandfather was a gentle man, at least what I knew of him.  But he brought home a visceral hatred for anything Japanese.  And he did not want to talk about it.  He saw something.  Something so horrible, he could not get it out of his mind.  Even decades later it was just as raw as ever.  The cruelty he witnessed was so bad he could never forget it, or ever stop blaming for it.  But he was blessed enough not to let it completely take him over.

The military has always had it hard, trying to walk that balancing act between horrifically efficient killer, and common man able to enter a peace-loving society when hostilities come to a close.  Now we have a myriad of psychological conditions we diagnose our vets with, and think because we have cute names and accurate symptoms, we have solved the problem.  But the problem is a fundamental one.  We train our men to kill, proficiently kill, then at some point, tell them killing is done.  And today’s suicide rates of our vets are way too high.  It is hard to take life, then deal with it.  Some men just never try to come back from it.  Look back through history, this is not a new problem, and its hard to say whether it is better now, or worse now.  We kill from farther away, but we kill many more people with our advanced weapons.  In Roman times, you killed pretty much only people you could reach at arms length.  Archery may give you distance but lowers the body count surety.  A sword in the chest, pretty much guarantees the job is done.  Is it any wonder the soldiers in the days of Christ seem so proficient in cruelty?

The Executive of the state washed his hands and passed the buck as much as he could.  But he still ordered Jesus to be crucified.  Jesus would hardly be unique in that death.  Rows of crosses lined the roads throughout all of Israel.  Where we have light posts, they had crosses.  It was designed as a warning to rebellious thinking people.  Act out, find yourself decorating the highways of Judea in blood, your blood.  It was abomination to have this much death, or partial death, going on all the time, nearly everywhere.  But there were many would-be Messiah’s who promised freedom from Rome, only to find themselves, and their followers, and their follower’s families, up on Roman crosses, marking the roads in and out of every city.  Hatred of Rome was visual, and earned, and mutual.  Soldiers did all the dirty work.  Pilate was not going to do “anything” to Jesus himself, he would order the military to do it.  Men bathed in cruelty, who were taught hatred of the enemy is the only thing that kept them alive.  Doctrines of Satan spread then and now, in furrows of the blood of our enemies, that we feel OK about shedding.

Mercy, while steeped in the heart of Jesus for his Roman military escort, was totally void in their hearts for Him.  Matthew picks up the story in chapter 27 of his gospel to his contemporaries, beginning in verse 27 it says … “Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band of soldiers. [verse 28] And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe.”  Modesty has left the building.  The circumcision of Jesus is now clearly visible to all.  What is left of his back is bare, but blood falls from its 39 chuncks of missing meat, taken by the shards of glass tied in to the tips of the whip (cat of nine-tails) used in his flogging.  He drops blood fast enough to bleed out, but no one tends to His already horrific wounds.  Jesus was a Jew.  He was bound to die.  The people hated Him (or so it looked).  So anything these Romans did to Jesus, would bring with it, not even a shred of accountability.  The only anger they would inspire in the priests, is from making them wait longer for the inevitable death of Jesus.  And let’s face it, that was part of the Roman “fun” of any crucifixion.

Once naked, they find likely in the dirty clothes hamper of Pilate, a scarlet purple robe of royalty.  How much fun it might be to put this robe on Jesus (dirty as it was) to make fun of Him.  The maids will wash the blood out of it before Pilate gets it back anyway, so why not.  Matthew continues in verse 29 saying … “And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews!”  And Satan grants each of them an honorary PhD in Cruetly for following his lead in this matter.  What is a king without a crown.  So they make one, weaving together a thorn bush with 2 inch long thorns, long enough to push deep into the head of Jesus, causing new rivers of blood to emerge.  At this rate Jesus may not survive even the walk to the cross.  They give him a scepter made of a reed.  Then they mock Him, kneeling and hailing Him as the King of the Jews.  And this is where they believed anyone who dared to take that name belonged.  Here, bleeding out, being mocked.  Hate has no bounds, nor has it a high threshold.  Like love, when you think you have discovered all there is, more will be found in you.  Satan tries through all this cruelty to convince Jesus, that we, humanity, are not worth it.  He is right.  This is the painful truth, though it causes Satan no pain, only glee.

None of us are worth this.  At least none of us, would go through this for each other, yet Jesus is undeterred.  Now it is time to get physical.  Matthew continues in verse 30 saying … “And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head.”  None of us are too crazy about the idea of having someone else hawk-a-loogie right in our face.  To have the indignity of a spit bukaki in the face of your precious Savior should cause you to cringe in horror.  But it occurred.  Jesus did not react.  Not just because His arms were so tired He would not be able to lift them to wipe away the indignity.  But He just kept looking at these men as if He loved each of them, and knew each of them personally.  This was making it lose the buzz.  So they up’ed the game.  They take back the reed, and begin to beat Him on the head, pushing the crown of thorns even deeper into his flesh every time they made contact.  Producing a new squirt of blood as if from the pump of an artery every time they made contact.  They are laughing at Him.  He is crying for them.  They are why He is here.  To save each of them.

The fun is wearing off.  Cruelty cannot sustain a high, only get one started.  To sustain the high, one must find new ways to raise the game, make it worse.  There is never enough cruelty, to keep a high going.  Besides, Jesus has dumped so much blood on the ground in front of them, they are beginning to slip.  If they stay He will bleed out, avoid a crucifixion, and get them in trouble for not following orders.  Matthew continues in verse 31 saying … “And after that they had mocked him, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify him.”  They put His own homespun on Him again.  But they leave the crown of thorns on Him, if they pulled it out surely He would have died from blood loss.  The clothing, such as it is, is now holding His back together after the flogging.  Not much skin left, so His clothing acts as a large sack holding His body together soaking with blood throughout.  But in this condition, He is completely unable to carry the cross as was the custom.  You can bet these cruel men had ZERO intentions of helping this Jew out, or any after Him.

Matthew continues in verse 32 saying … “And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name: him they compelled to bear his cross.  [verse 33] And when they were come unto a place called Golgotha, that is to say, a place of a skull,  [verse 34] They gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall: and when he had tasted thereof, he would not drink.”  They made it to the place designated for this execution.  Lucky them.  Had Jesus died en route there would have been no end to the anger.  The Romans could care less who they made help them out.  When they get there, they offered Jesus a pain-dulling stimulant, to give Him some chance to live longer.  This was not a mercy.  It was a continued act of cruelty.  The point was to see Jesus suffer as long as humanly possible.  If Jesus died right away, it kills the fun of it.  But when Jesus tasted what it was, He refused to drink.  In his depleted condition, you could not force Him, or you may just kill Him on the spot. 

Matthew continues in verse 35 saying … “And they crucified him, and parted his garments, casting lots: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, They parted my garments among them, and upon my vesture did they cast lots. [verse 36] And sitting down they watched him there; [verse 37] And set up over his head his accusation written, THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.”  The doctors of cruelty who have no idea about ancient Jewish prophecies now fulfill another of them without the slightest knowledge they do so.  They threw dice for the homespun of Jesus.  Once you wash His robes, they might be awefully nice to add to a wardrobe.  Further cruelty, He will die naked and exposed now for all the world to see.  What would be our shame is now His shame.  No modesty, no compassion, only cruelty.  They choose to nail His hands and feet to the cross.  They could have tied Him up there with ropes, but ropes are less painful.  Nails, or rather spikes, will pearce Him clean through and increase the pain by an order of magnitude.

But while the sound of spike through bone is heard by all, what is not heard, is even a whisper of condemnation for those who are in the middle of inflicting all this cruelty upon Him.  Jesus had to die.  But this level of cruelty was our choice, not His will.  Yet still he does not call out any who sin against Him personally, to condemn them for what they do, even though their cruelty would have surely gotten any one of us to hate them in response.  The horror of sledge hammer through bone is heard.  Continual planking and squirting of blood, yet not a word of condemnation.  This was the most evident public sin of all time, yet nothing from Jesus who knew their every thought.  And somehow still, modern Christians believe it is “their job” to point out sin.  Leave the sin diagnosis with Jesus, and frankly focus on getting the repair there as well.    The sign they erect over His head proclaims Him King.  None of these men probably read; they are not even sure what they posted.  But orders from Pilate so, so be it.

It is convenient for us to think we would never stoop to this level of cruelty to anyone, especially to Jesus.  So instead of pounding in a crown of thorns, or planking spikes through bone, we offer death by a thousand cuts instead.  We speak our blatant truth with no regard, and let the chips fall where they may.  But they are not our chips.  They are the pieces of hope and faith we shatter in another because we demonstrate to them that our version of what love means, is devoid of any caring for what another thinks and feels.  We believe it is “our duty” to call sin by its name, and speak the “will of God” as if “we” knew that will.  Our Pharisee forefathers had equal arrogance.  They too recited scripture and clung to their singular interpretations and were now killing Jesus because they too believed they knew the will of God. 

We call ourselves Christian, and then proceed to dismember others with our speech, ironically thinking we do them a favor.  We do not.  If we loved them, so much that it broke our hearts to even consider sharing with them a truth that might hurt them as well, we would find another way to say it.  We might even follow the example of Jesus during this entire event and keep our peace, keep silent.  Or we would stand there with our brothers & sisters sheltering them throughout, so that they knew we were with them forever.  If tears are to flow, let them be our tears first.  Love that cares, cares.  It is not blind to the heart of others, even in matters of truth.  Let us burn our degrees in cruelty, and study love in its place.  Let us wrap truth in a hand-stitched blanket of love, never more in a platted crown-of-thorns, before we even consider delivering it.  Let us elevate love to a high art form, ever pursuing a mastery we may never fully attain.  And in so doing, speak or see cruelty never again.

 

How Lust for Power makes us Deaf to The Truth ...

Have you ever wanted something so bad you could taste it (presuming it wasn’t food of course)?  Perhaps back when you were a child just prior to Christmas, you had your heart set on something you just “had” to have or you would die.  Or maybe it was something in your career; perhaps a new job, or a promotion that comes with a substantial pay raise.  You “need” something like this, as it will benefit you, your family, even the church as offerings will likely go up, now that you could “afford” them.  Or maybe you have an active imagination, and you are the type of person who dreams of finding a genie in a bottle who would grant you three wishes of your heart.  Don’t laugh.  How many of us treat God like that mythical genie, asking Him for something we still just “have” to have, something we desperately “need”, bargaining with Him that if He gives it to us, we will take some action we should have been doing all along, but now, for real, we will do it faithfully.  If only our God ([ahem] genie), gives us the thing our hearts desire the most.

It begs the question; what do you want?  Are you sure what you want is the right thing to want?  And in a perfect world for you, could you get what you want, if you only just a little more power over someone else?  Power is something the President has.  He uses it as he sees fit.  Ideally for what is best for our country.  The President is responsible for protecting the country, and he must from time to time, exercise power over others, particularly those bent on hurting you and I.  Do you suppose then, a President wishes for more power, or less of it?  With more power, would come more control, or at least the illusion of control.  With enough power, others would be afraid to take actions against you, lest you use your power in a response to what they did.  But if behavior is only moderated by fear, it cannot represent real change, or a real difference in motives.  Even when it comes to how we respond to God.  If we only fear His power, we do not really change, we just look to avoid getting caught, or rather, getting punished.

It is Satan who looks to rule his empire by power over others, and fear of reprisal.  What Satan wanted was to be like the Most High.  It was God’s power Satan craved, not His love.  Power is a strong aphrodisiac.  It is intoxicating.  It is corrupting for those who would crave it; or use what they believe they have of it.  And most of all, it can blind you to the truth, particularly to The Truth.  Lest you think otherwise, Matthew records for us a case of blinding truth, followed by a complete deafness to the truth no one wanted to hear.  It picks up in chapter twenty of his gospel to the Hebrews.  Keep in mind the common belief about the Messiah was that He was to overthrow Roman oppression and setup a kingdom that would never end.  This was a doctrine both the Pharisees and the Disciples of Christ shared.  It was so common, it was a “known” truth, something that could not be wrong, or false.  If you spoke against this basic doctrine, you were the heretic, not what everyone else believed.

But Jesus knew a truth we did not.  The kingdom He would begin, begins in the heart.  And it will have no end, as the heart begins to transform here, and continues its journey past perfection in Heaven.  The overthrow of the Roman Oppression would end, as when all evil ends, and how it ends.  Evil ends only when we choose to submit to Jesus and allow Him to transform us, putting an end to the evil within.  So Jesus had a perspective on the common belief of His day, that would never meet the expectations of either His followers, or the Sanhedrin that rules the nation.  It turns out, it is not the exercise of Jesus’ power that ends evil, it is the outpouring of His transformative love that ends it.  Love is the kind of power our God praises.  Love that opens eyes and ears to hear and see The Truth, and learn that what we thought we “knew”, was not so common after all.  Scripture through the lens of Jesus, instead of the certainty of our own hearts and minds about our particular interpretation, is a truth we have been deaf to, for quite some time.

Case in point Matthew picks up in verse 17 saying … “And Jesus going up to Jerusalem took the twelve disciples apart in the way, and said unto them, [verse 18] Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be betrayed unto the chief priests and unto the scribes, and they shall condemn him to death, [verse 19] And shall deliver him to the Gentiles to mock, and to scourge, and to crucify him: and the third day he shall rise again.”  You and I know that the plain words of Jesus, would come to pass exactly as He said they would.  We have the benefit of hindsight.  At this point in time, the disciples did not.  They were still looking forward to an earthly kingdom with Jesus as King of Kings.  But a kingdom of power that begins in the here and now.  Power that exerts control over others.  Power they believed they would share by reason of their service and closeness to Jesus.  This is what every other kingdom in history had looked like before, why not the one the Messiah was destined to setup?  Yet what Jesus just said, in plain words, without metaphor, or symbolism, just the facts – was that what they expected was not going to come to pass.  Instead something entirely different would take place.  Something that would crush their earthly hopes, and establish their eternal ones forever and ever.  But they refused to hear.  They chose to be deaf to The Truth, because power looked more enticing.

Matthew continues the story in verse 20 saying … “Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. [verse 21] And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom.”  James who would one day become the head of the new church in Jerusalem; and John the beloved, who would one day become the most significant prophet of any age – were looking for a different kind of power from Jesus at this moment.  They had their mom make a request of Jesus, to place one son on the right, and one on the left, the two most powerful positions in any earthly kingdom as they were the two closest to the king.  One would be considered the second most powerful person in the new kingdom.  The other would be considered the third most powerful.  Ages ago, Lucifer saw himself as equal to Christ by sitting on the other side of the Father God.  When He realized Jesus was actually second, and he would never have “that” kind of relationship with the Father, he became jealous, and over time enraged.  Why not him?  He served God since the day of his creation.  But this is what he failed to see, Lucifer despite his age, was in fact a created being.  Jesus was not – He was God – infinite and without end.  And in all likelihood, the creator of Lucifer and all the other angels.  But Lucifer hated this idea, to know that his power was not as great as Jesus, was more than he would ever want to admit.  A lust for power made him blind and deaf to the truth.  And nothing has changed.

Jesus had just told his disciples what was to come to pass.  They ignored it.  They made themselves blind to it, deaf to His words, and chose to pursue a path to power, based on a doctrine they held, that the church affirmed, that was completely wrong.  What we “know” is true, through the lens of Jesus, may not be true at all.  Scriptures were correct.  Isaiah was correct.  It was the interpretation of Isaiah, by the church of His day, that was in error.  This was not a problem in the Word, as there is no problem with the Word today.  The problem is not in Scripture.  It is in our arrogance of what we “know”, of how we interpret the Word, that so often is absent the lens of Jesus, and therefore in error now, as it was in error then.  And just like the first disciples of Christ, we pursue positions of power, even if they are in the church.  We reason that positions of great responsibility come with “power” over the church itself.  We have decision making authority having been put “in charge” of something.  Like James and John, we seek to put ourselves over our brethren, based on our proximity to Jesus.  But Jesus has other ideas about power, service, and authority.

Jesus responds to mom’s request picking back up in verse 22 saying … “But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able.”  The cup Jesus refers to is not a royal goblet.  It is not a golden chalice filled with the best grape juice (wine) that could be pressed by delicate hands.  Instead it is a cup of woe, of pain, and eventually of death for a mission of redemption.  This would be forever the cause of Christ, to see the world redeemed, and evil ended because we ask Him to end it, in us.  The baptism Jesus refers to is not a simple immersion in the river Jordan as how He once began His own ministry.  It is a baptism in blood, His own.  His entire body would be drenched in His own blood.  Bathed in it from relentless torture, and sadistic cruelty.  The world has no tolerance for the Love of Jesus.  The world run by Satan hates His love.  For His love can redeem, cleanse, and remove evil from the hearts of men.  The disciples having no idea what they are agreeing to, seeing only this question as a stepping stone to the power they seek, agree to it blindly.

Jesus continues in verse 23 saying … “And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father.”  So Jesus tells them, they are to follow His path, though they have no understanding what that means at the moment.  In reality it is good news.  They are to join His cause, and no matter what it may cost them, or do to their bodies, or end their lives – it is worth it.  But the prize they seek, is not for Jesus to hand out.  It is for His Father to decide who is to sit closest to Jesus in the kingdom to come.  In this, as in ALL things, Jesus submits His will to that of His Father.  Jesus has learned to trust His Father in ALL things.  Even if this is a disappointment to mom and her two sons, it is a truth they must contend with.  And deafness persists, as even still they harbor hope the Father will still pick the two of them.

Now things get tense.  When a co-worker stabs you in the back, you are likely not to take too kindly to it.  The remaining disciples were not too happy either.  Matthew continues in verse 24 saying … “And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. [verse 25] But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. [verse 26] But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; [verse 27] And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: [verse 28] Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.”  The other ten want power too.  Having two brothers try to propel themselves to the front of the line and take power that might otherwise belong to one of them, makes them all mad.  Notice, it was not just Judas who was mad.  Nor was it Judas scheming here to be number one in the new regime.  Scripture never says Judas tries this.  This was James and John scheming.  And ALL the other ten mad about it – Peter as much as Judas.

Then Jesus begins to explain that great positions in His kingdom begin with great service.  The most important position, is a position that is able to “serve” all the others.  Jesus uses His own life, as a key example of this fact.  Nothing in His church will be built on traditional ideas of power, or authority, but on service and dependence upon Him.  That lesson lays in the same plain words Jesus has a habit of using.  And still our modern day lust for power, even in matters of religion and church authority, keeps us deaf to The Truth.  While none of us are the President of the United States, many would be content to be the President of our denomination, or conference, or group of churches, or even our local church.  Sure we may not refer to that role with the term President, instead we call it pastor, or bishop, or priest, or elder.  But at the core of our titles is an assumption of power, not power based in service to all, but power based on the prowess of our spiritual growth.  And it keeps us deaf to His truth, to The Truth.

We lust for power and shun humility and the service that might accompany it.  We find ourselves following the same path as James and John before they really understood the mission of Jesus.  But we still have the benefit of hindsight.  We already know the end of this story, the reasons for the story.  And yet still we seek the aphrodisiac of power, instead of the simple humble service we might perform upon our neighbor, our family, our co-workers, or more profoundly upon the one who would call themselves our enemy.  It begs the question; what do you want?  Do you trust what you want?  Jesus didn’t.  Jesus deferred to the will of His Father in ALL things.  The total absence of self, and the absolute ability to serve everyone else, even if it cost Him His life; in fact, knowing it would.  Let us pray for the transformation of our character’s, of who we are, of what we want, of how we think and what we believe, until we are in full harmony with our God, His laws burned into the fabric of who we are, and His love echoing through us without reservation, or limit, for the world who remain in such desperate need …

 

Shame On You ...

“Knowing” but not “doing” provides an opportunity for someone (usually your mom), to utter the phrase “shame on you”.  As an example, you walk through the kitchen spotting a sink full of dishes that need to be washed.  Your mother is already busy with another chore that needs doing around the house.  You know the dishes need to be cleaned.  You know your mom is busy.  But you keep on walking, preferring to do the thing you wanted to do, rather than the thing that needs doing, that might otherwise help out your busy mother.  On Mother’s Day, your decision seems particularly heinous.  But you have faced this same decision on many days before, and made the same one, till the point now, where it hardly dawns on you what you “could” be doing to help out your mother, if you only chose to.  Shame on you comes to mind.

And while shame usually conjures up feelings of guilt, from heaven’s perspective it has another connotation.  All those opportunities you had to serve your family and your mother, where in fact, “opportunities” to serve.  In heaven that is like gold, it is like currency is here on earth.  The population of heaven is always looking for an opportunity to do something for someone else that might have meaning or impact, or make their lives just a little bit better.  In heaven, there is no greater task to do on anyone’s agenda than this.  From the heavenly perspective the “shame” on you, is your lost opportunity to serve.  They cannot fathom why anyone would simply keep on walking when they had instead the glorious opportunity to do something for someone else that could help out, or make their lives just a little bit better.  Mom understands.  Because your decision results in mom ever so quietly doing the dishes, cleaning them for her family.  She knows those dishes are bound to be dirty again, almost as fast as she can clean them.  This does not dissuade her.  Because she loves her family, and she wants them eating from clean plates, gaining the benefits of less germs, and the satisfaction in her heart, that her love translates into service almost everywhere you look.

Sometimes it is harder on mom to serve, than she might let on.  Sometimes her human frailty makes it painful for her to keep standing, to keep cleaning, to keep serving.  But she continues on to the best of her ability.  As she ages this difficulty will only increase.  Each decision you make to simply pass by those tasks you know need doing, whether she ever calls your attention to them or not, are silent echoes of “shame on you” that should be said, or at least noticed.  We accept her service.  We come to expect it.  We come to think of it, as if by magic, our homes are homes.  But it is not magic, or elves, or gremlins, that make our homes a home, it is by the demonstration of someone’s love.  Shame on us, when that demonstration lacks our participation.  We should know better.  We should do better.  But examples that reveal what we should know do not start and end in the home.

Matthew recorded one in his gospel intended for a Jewish audience.  The snippet he records cut right to the quick of a Jewish heart in his day.  It revealed no greater shame.  The contrast was so striking, many would prefer if it did not happen, but it did.  Picking up in the eighth chapter of his gospel starting in verse 5 Matthew begins telling the story of what happened saying … “And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,”  Someone was denying the pecking order.  Romans did not ask Jews for anything.  If a Roman had a need, he could simply take what he wanted, and if the Jew disagreed, he could voice his dissent from a Roman cross, or behind a Roman whip.  Centurions were even higher up the food chain.  Not only could a centurion take what he wanted, he had the added benefit of 100 Roman soldiers to insure death and destruction at the whim of his command.  But not so here, this one was different.

Matthew continues in verse 6 saying … “And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented.”  OK now, we have really entered weirdo-wonderland in this day-and-age.  Not only is a Roman centurion respectfully asking Jesus for something without a single hint of force or consequences (a miracle unto itself), this Roman is worried about a mere servant who is sick at his home.  Servants are nothing in this day-and-age.  They are a dime a dozen.  You can easily just pick someone and make them a servant in your home, again, if they argue about it, they can voice their dissent behind a Roman whip, or a Roman cross.  To have a Roman care enough about a servant to seek healing for him or her is beyond comprehension to the Jewish mind.  They never do this.  Well that is up to now.  It would appear that the Holy Spirit can enter Romans just as well as He enters Jews.

Jesus responds in verse 7 saying … “And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.”  The fall down the rabbit hole continues.  Here is Jesus, not only willing to heal this servant He has never met, He is willing to travel into a Roman’s home to do it.  NO other Rabbi would do this.  NO other Rabbi would even consider it.  Nearly every other Rabbi would be delighted to know the Roman is suffering, and would love for them to get to experience what it is like to see someone they care about suffer and perhaps die.  Turnabout is fair play in the Jewish mind, and in ours.  What goes around comes around.  All is fair in love and war.  Pick your expression.  They all have a basis in trying to screw the guy who is screwing you.  But not so with Jesus.  Jesus loves that servant and it is His will to heal them immediately.  But beyond a healing, Jesus is willing to enter a Roman home, bringing with Him Jewish honor and righteousness into a Roman home, without a moment’s hesitation.

The centurion responds in verse 8 saying … “The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. [verse 9] For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.”  Finally!  Some level of sanity is going to return to this story.  If Jesus does not understand the social norms of having no Jew enter a Roman household, at least the Roman gets it.  But wait a minute, look closer, look at why the Roman centurion responds as he does.  He says to Jesus “I am not worthy”.  Wow!  Someone sees their need.  Someone sees their own unrighteousness, and is afraid they may dishonor the reputation of Jesus by rubbing their own misdeeds upon the righteous Christ should He enter their doors.  The Roman is concerned about Jesus, and ashamed of himself.

The Roman does not want the honor of Jesus in his home, he does not feel he deserves it.  But wait, he still has a solution.  The Roman understands chain of command, he knows when he issues an order, it will be done, even if it is not done in his presence.  The centurion does not have to be present to witness the order being carried out.  He only has to give an order, and it will be carried out, or the one who fails to do it, can ponder his failure behind a Roman whip, or upon a Roman cross.  So the centurion has a plan to figure this out.  But then too, his plan is based on the idea that Jesus is “one” under authority.  Jesus is not just some ordinary Rabbi that people can choose to listen to, or not.  Jesus is the God behind the church of all the Rabbi’s whether they choose to accept it or not.  The centurion recognizes the authority of God in the form of Jesus.  Thus the centurion knows his plan will work.  Jesus has the authority to give a command and it “will” be carried out.  Not because any sort of whips or crosses are behind it, but because the power of God Himself is behind it, which nothing can stop or delay.

Then comes the beauty of transformation compared with those who still rely upon self for salvation.  Jesus responds in verse 10 saying … “When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.”  Matthew says to his fellow Jews, to the bloodline of Abraham, to his fellow disciples … shame on us.  Jesus “marvels” at the faith of the Roman, at the simplicity of what he asks, and at his own recognition of his unworthiness to have God enter his home.  Jesus points out, He has not found so great a faith in all the people of Israel.  Yikes!  A Roman, just out did every other descendant of Abraham in a matter of faith.  Even of those who call themselves His disciples.  How could this be?  How could Jesus have said such a thing?  What kind of shame does this heap on the house of Israel, that a Roman has greater faith?  And the gentle rebuke does not end here for the Jews or for us.

Jesus continues in verse 11 saying … “And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. [verse 12] But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  From my point of view this text is awesome!  For I am of Nordic descent, and what it means to me, is that my bloodline is not held against me, nor the pagan history of my ancestors, only that Jesus has extended to me an offer of salvation, of transformation, of a perfection He will work out within me if I will allow it.  And because of His grace, I will look one day across the table at the face of Abraham whose faith inspires my own.  I will meet David, whose heart reflected the passion of our God.  For if I meet them it will not be because I earned it, but because He earned it on my behalf, and saved me from myself.  It will be through Jesus Christ alone that this happens, or it will not happen at all.  This is simply a statement of fact, not intended as threat, but revealed as cause and effect.  Only Jesus can save me, I cannot save me at all.

Those children of bloodlines more closely linked to Abraham.  Of the seven other nations he spawned before his death.  Of Esau, and the nations that descended from his loins.  Of Israel and the continued blood line of Abraham himself.  The advantage of proximity is not a guarantee either, only submission to Jesus Christ guarantees the seat at the table.  A rejection of Jesus; defining him as a prophet, or outstanding Rabbi, but not as a personal savior, leaves one in darkness gnashing teeth for pain.  The universal commonality of false religion begins in the mirror, where one looks to be good enough to be saved.  Odin recognizes that idea.  Mohammed does as well.  Ganesh does as well.  So does Buddha.  And sadly, so do many many Christian religions, denominations, and sects.  Too many Christians have relegated Jesus to the Being who died, rose, and forgives;  but the idea of Him perfecting us from the inside out is foreign to them, and not based on any kind of real submission.  Too many Christians look to the actions of a religious nature they pursue to save themselves. 

We must attend church, read the Bible, pray daily, and be “good” people to our neighbors.  Outside of that, we can have the hearts of a raging demoniac, and crave the things that would destroy us, engaging in them, and then begging forgiveness.  Ever in a cycle of sin-and-forgive, never considering the idea of change, or re-creation; having lost faith that Jesus is a Creator in the first place.  But putting aside our denominations for a moment, putting aside our race, and our cultural heritage.  It only takes one thing to find salvation, it only takes a submission to Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.  A full surrender of our desires, our will, our decisions to Him, leads to a perfection we begin to slowly come to know, but are completely unable to explain.  This is the difference of Christianity against every other religion.  Because true Christianity is not based on self, it does not have the same results as others do.  It works.  It transforms.  And it leads us to become different, because He makes us different.

Jesus does not forget the Roman in front of Him, for the lesson He would teach His people then, or now, as he continues in verse 13 saying … “And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour.”  Imagine the impact upon the Roman’s faith from this encounter.  Imagine the impact of the servants.  Only the Holy Spirit could have inspired the Roman to so love his servant, that he would reach out to a Jew to find healing for him/her.  Only the Holy Spirit could have convicted the Roman of the surety of the authority of Jesus to carry inside of Him the voice of God Himself.  A Roman.  A centurion at that.  A person whose job would lead them to torture Israelites, or at least unfairly treat the people of God.  The persecutor was to be loved by God so much, that the Holy Spirit would interact with him as well.  If there were to ever be a dichotomy of good and bad people, the Roman would have fallen on the bad side of that equation, and yet his faith surpasses all those on the side of the good.

The lesson is clear for us.  There are no good and bad people in the world.  We are all bad.  And we are all in need of a Savior to save us from who we are.  This is the offer Jesus makes.  Jesus would take every person in the world, no matter how bad, and redeem them unto Himself.  He loves us all.  He makes no division.  And He accepts everyone, interacts with everyone, and loves everyone with a passion we will never understand.  Finally, He can save every one of us.  Each of us.  You and me.  He is the only God offering to do so, and the only God able to follow through on that promise.  By contrast, Odin expects me to earn my place in Valhalla, dying a noble death in battle, soaked in the blood of my enemies.  The version of heaven Odin understands is forevermore repeating the battles in heaven, dying each day, resurrecting for the parties each night, and repeating the process for infinity. 

Jesus offers to perfect me for His kingdom.  He soaked Himself in His own blood on behalf of His enemies (including me).  His idea of Heaven is place where the exploration of love and discovery have no end, or upper limits.  The actions of love we take in heaven are ones of service to make the lives of others just a little bit better.  There will be no “shame on me” in His kingdom, because He bore all my shame, to exchange it for infinity with me and Him together forever united.  The contrast is so striking it can barely be comprehended.  My Jesus is my God.  Odin is only myth, and sad myth at that.  Jesus is interactive, not done with me yet, but certainly working with me every day.  Jesus does that.  Odin has never lifted off the pages of history.  Jesus is here today.  But it is not Odin I fear.  It is the man in the mirror, finding a way to never truly submit to the Jesus I know can save me.  Odin is not my enemy or the enemy of my Lord, I am.  My will is opposed to His own.  So I must learn to submit my will to Jesus instead.  What I want is in opposition to Jesus, so I must learn to want to different things, by allowing Jesus to change what I want.  How I love is dwarfed against what is possible, so I must learn to reflect the love of Jesus through me, and begin to experience what love is really like.  I give Jesus me, so that He can slay me, and re-create His version of me.  That is who I wish to be, no clinging to the legacy of who I am today.  I need to be rid of this me, that is what salvation is all about … for me.

I hope to be the guy who never walks past a stack of dirty dishes again.  Not to avoid the shame of it, but to experience the joy of service in it …